I See
by Teacup of JAG
Summary: There's tension between Harm and Mac.  Will it cause them to finally 'see' that they are both in love with each other and that they should be together?
1. Chapter 1

**I See**

Author: Teacup (of JAG)

A/N: This was written back in 2006, inspired by an HBX challenge to re-use the following lines from the episode 'Lifeline' in a new JAG story:

_ Mac: When you look at me that way … what do you see?  
Harm: I see ... a desirable woman.  
Mac: And I see ... a man who's so afraid to lose control.  
Harm: In my world, you lose control, you die._

I mix all the lines up and spread them out in this story.

Disclaimer: The usual - the characters don't belong to me, but the story does.

The JAG background for this story: As far as Harm and Mac's relationship, … I imagine this happens around mid to late season 7, after Mic and Renee are gone, after the Jag-a-thon, after Mac has confessed to Sturgis that she's in love with Harm. I'm thinking this is a few months after that confession.

That said, event-wise, … the staff changes that occurred during season 7 have not happened. Gunny still works at JAG, Bud is not yet sent off to the carrier, no one on the show has gone to Afghanistan yet. And Sergei is not living at Harm's apartment. He might be in the U.S. living elsewhere, might be Russia, you can fill that in … I really don't care … He's not in this FF.

**I See – Chapter 1**

The two officers made their way through the bullpen, engaged in a discussion about a client they were co-defending.

"He should take the deal, Harm. It's not a bad one."

"Mac, he doesn't deserve to do brig time," Harm called over his shoulder as he entered his office.

Mac followed. "He beat up a superior officer! - Left him bleeding and unconscious in a deserted area. If that jogger hadn't happened by, Captain Lange might be dead!"

"Way to have faith in our client, Mac," Harm said sarcastically.

Mac closed the door behind her. "You know he did it, Harm."

"No, I don't," he replied matter-of-factly. "He admitted to having words with Captain Lange earlier that day, but not to attacking him. Lange didn't see who knocked him out. It could easily have been someone else."

Mac couldn't believe what she was hearing from Harm, and it was making her slightly angry. "For someone so obsessed with finding the truth, I can't believe you are ignoring what is staring you in the face!!"

"I'm not ignoring anything. It's our job to defend our client zealously, and I intend to do just that," he said with irritation. "If you don't want to take your duty as a lawyer seriously, that's your problem." With that insult flung at her, he took his seat.

Mac was not about to let him use that condescending tone with her. And she was certainly not going to let him attack her ability to do her job.

"There's a difference between a zealous defense and an irrational one!" she snapped back.

Keeping her focus on the case, Mac leaned forward with one hand on Harm's desk and argued, "We need to do what's in the best interest of our client, Harm. There is a ton of evidence against him, and he's going to be given a lot more brig time after he's found guilty than the time Singer is offering now."

"He shouldn't have to do any brig time if he didn't commit the crime," whined Harm.

Mac sighed in frustration and took a seat. "You really believe he didn't do this?" she asked in disbelief. She then proceeded to list just some of the evidence against their client, counting out on her fingers as she did so. "He's got motive, …"

"And so do half a dozen other enlisted men," Harm said coolly.

"He was seen 3 blocks away from the crime scene within 10 minutes of the attack, …"

"_Estimated_ time of the attack," Harm corrected.

"His fingerprints are on the weapon!"

"He could have handled it earlier in the day," Harm pointed out.

"Which would just go to show that he had access to it on that day in the first place. Harm, all evidence aside, when we met with him, did you honestly believe his story? Because I didn't. And I don't think any jury will either."

"It's a plausible story."

"Yeah, except the way he told it screamed that he was lying. And he's … very unlikable. Honestly, if he insists on testifying on his own behalf, he's toast! The members would be ready to give him the death penalty if they could."

"Mac, you don't send a man to the brig for being unlikable."

"Do you really think that he is not guilty?" she asked again.

"I don't know. But I'm not ready to give in to Singer's demands just yet."

"He's going to be convicted, Harm. The man has 'guilty' written all over him."

"Don't be so harsh, Mac. There's more to our client than just a mean and obnoxious sailor. Petty Officer Jacobs has had it rough, and I think he deserves a break. ... I mean, … when I look at him, … yeah, I see a young man with a lot of anger issues. But I also see a man who's gotten the short end of the stick one too many times. I see a man who … maybe just needs to be given a chance."

Mac leaned back in the chair. "And I see a man … who's so afraid to lose control," she countered.

"Of course Jacobs is afraid to lose control," agreed Harm. "And that's exactly what we'll be doing to him if we let him take this deal. Going to the brig is the ultimate loss of control. His freedom will be completely taken away."

"I wasn't talking about Petty Officer Jacobs, Harm." Her voice had softened, but there was still a firm insistence in it. "… I was talking about you."

"What?" He was shocked.

"You're a control freak, Harm!" Mac sat up, challenging him. "Isn't that what this is really about? Not about a petty officer who deserves a chance, … but about you."

Harm's eyebrows rose and his eyes widened. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Control and pride, Harm. Singer bested you last week. She caught you with your pants down in court when she came up with that surprise witness. You lost total control of the case from that point on. And you can't stand that."

"Mac, I've lost cases before. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" She laughed. "… Yeah, and I'm the Easter Bunny."

"Well then how about bringing me some chocolate eggs this year." Harm smiled facetiously.

Mac ignored his comment and continued, "… It's not that you lost the case. It's _how_ you lost the case. You had it all planned out. Your airtight strategy. You had the members right where you wanted them. But when Singer pulled out that witness, your theory was blown to bits, and you didn't know what to do."

"I did a fine job of recovery, thank you," he defended himself.

"You did what you were forced to do at that point, Harm, … as things spiraled out of your control. And Singer hasn't exactly been above rubbing your nose in it all week. So, … I understand that you're sore."

"She was up to something, Mac. That witness didn't just fall into her lap the way she claimed. And I still don't believe what her 'star' witness said. I am sure he was lying, … I just couldn't prove it."

Harm was working himself up into a state of agitation, and he suddenly pounded his fist against his desk in a gesture of frustration.

"But, it's no big deal," Mac repeated his words, sounding as innocently as possible, to let him realize the untruth of it.

Harm couldn't deny that his loss to Loren Singer the week before had upset and unnerved him, especially because she was so insistent on bragging every possible moment. There was no one at JAG who didn't know about her win.

The way the overly ambitious Lieutenant had beaten Harm became something the rest of the staff began to enjoy needling him about too. He couldn't even go into the break room without someone making a joke about his loss to Singer.

So, given that Mac had a point, Harm moved to a different defense strategy for himself. "Fine," he conceded. "But what does my being upset with Singer have to do with our current case? Or you calling me a control freak?"

Mac looked at him intently and seriously explained, "Because now, you can't stand to have Singer dictating the terms of anything. You refuse to let her have power over the outcome of the slightest thing that you might have a say in, even though it's going to end up hurting our client."

"That's not true."

"Then why are you being so stubborn about advising Jacobs to accept the deal she's offering? We both know he'll be crucified if this goes to court martial."

"I did offer a counter-deal!" he argued.

"Yeah, because that would have put you in control of the terms. But she's not going to budge on her offer, and if I were her, I wouldn't either."

Harm looked away, and mused in a complaining tone, "I don't know why the Admiral put you on this case with me anyhow. I can handle it myself."

Mac became infuriated at that comment. "Well, I am _so_ sorry that working with me is _so_ incredibly offensive!" she fumed, feeling hurt. She stood to leave.

"That's not how I meant it, Mac," he lamely protested.

She shook her head at him and then shrugged her shoulders. "You're first chair on this case," she acknowledged. "Don't let _me_ affect how you handle things," she said sarcastically. "That'll just take away some of that precious control of yours."

She opened the door. "I'll be around to talk … if you ever come to your senses." And with that, she left.

------

TBC …


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the comments! jagfanNIKKI, I was amused by how you pointed out that the ball is now in Harm's court, … if only because of the setting for this next chapter … :0) Teacup

**I See – Chapter 2**

"And another two points for me!" exclaimed Sturgis, moving around Harm to retrieve the basketball. "Man, you are really off your game tonight, buddy."

In defiance, Harm quickly stole the ball from Sturgis and went up for a jump shot. As if to prove his friend's point, the ball hit the rim and bounced down to the ground.

"Damn!" Harm muttered.

"What's got you so worked up today?" asked Sturgis, realizing that something was eating at Harm. "Surely the Singer thing is finally cooling off."

"It's not the Singer thing," insisted Harm bitterly.

"Then what?"

"Nothing."

"This wouldn't happen to have something to do with a certain Marine Lieutenant Colonel who was walking around JAG headquarters in a huff this afternoon, would it?"

Harm picked up the ball, and reluctantly admitted, "We might have had a disagreement earlier."

"Might have?"

"Okay, we did." Harm dribbled the ball.

"Professional or … personal?" Sturgis asked.

"Why is it you always assume something is personal between Mac and me?"

"Isn't it?"

"Do you have to answer a question with another question?" Harm was not in the mood for playing these kinds of games with Sturgis.

Sturgis surrendered, putting his hands up. "Fine. I've learned to stay out of the way when things aren't happy in the Rabb-MacKenzie world."

"Sturgis, how many times do I have to tell you that Mac and I are not seeing each other?"

"I wasn't implying you are."

"You sounded like you were."

"Then I apologize. I merely meant that the two of you are … some kind of powerful force when you're together, and … when you're fighting it's dangerous to get too close."

"I don't know why I let her get to me," uttered Harm in frustration, talking more to himself than his buddy.

Sturgis started thinking that this might be promising. He knew that Mac loved Harm. She'd blurted that out to Sturgis by accident. And he suspected his good friend was in love with her too, but the topic was always off limits.

Maybe if Sturgis stayed quiet and let Harm think out loud they might get somewhere.

"I mean," continued Harm, "anyone else, … I could deal with. Even Singer, for as annoying as she is, isn't as bad because … I can write her off. But Mac …" Harm shook his head and made another attempt to make a shot at the hoop. He missed again.

Harm didn't even bother to go after the ball. Instead, he looked at Sturgis. "She called me a control freak. I'm not a control freak, am I?"

"Well, you do like things to be a certain way in your life. You like to call the shots."

"I'm in the chain of command like everyone else. The Admiral calls the shots!"

Sturgis looked at his friend dubiously. Sure, Harm took orders, but he pushed the envelope and wasn't past disagreeing with those above him when he was intent on something.

"Alright, so I like a certain amount of control in my life," Harm admitted. "It's understandable though. In my world, you lose control, you die."

"In your world? And what world is that exactly?" asked Sturgis. "Because death isn't a typical result of giving up a little control in your life."

Harm faltered for a second. "Well, like when I fly. You lose control, you crash."

"You treat the rest of your life like flying?"

"Sure. It's the same principle. Just a different kind of crashing." Harm finally went after the basketball.

When he came back, he passed the ball to Sturgis, and complained, "I just don't understand what Mac's problem is."

"My guess is that you're not entirely innocent in all this."

Harm glared at his friend. "Are you gonna shoot that ball or just stand there?"

Sturgis shot, and the ball swished. Harm groaned, caught the ball, and passed it again, before finally admitting, "I think I might have insulted her. … But I didn't mean to."

"You seem to do that too often. What did you say this time?"

Instead of answering, Harm commented, "Ironically, I _did_ insult her earlier in the conversation … about her not taking her duty as a lawyer seriously, even though it wasn't true. To that, she just snapped back at me and moved on. No big deal."

"Well, she probably knew you didn't mean it," ventured Sturgis.

"Maybe. But I make an innocent little comment, and she gets all bent out of shape."

"What did you say?"

Trying to sound as guiltless as possible, Harm replied, "That I didn't know why she had to be assigned with me on this case."

"Ouch. Harm, you should know better than to tell a woman you don't need her."

"Mac's not a woman, she's …"

"Oh brother," cried Sturgis. "If you haven't realized that Mac is a woman, no wonder you have problems!"

"I _know_ Mac is a woman," corrected Harm, with frustration. "Believe me, I know. … But at work, … she's a colleague, … a lawyer, a marine."

"And outside of work?"

"She's my best friend."

Sturgis decided to give Harm a little push. "Do you find her attractive?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Harm snapped.

Feeling brave, Sturgis said, "I'll take that as a yes."

Harm didn't say anything. Sturgis noted that Harm hadn't disagreed with his assessment.

"Harm, did you ever think that Mac gets to you because of how you feel about her?"

"Are you going to tell me how I feel about her now?" Harm asked indignantly.

"No. Only you know that."

"Thank you. And let's leave it that way."

Somehow, Sturgis didn't think he _should_ leave it quite yet. Pushing things further would be the only way to get Harm to open up. And, just maybe, Harm really did want to open up.

"But there's obviously tension between you two," observed Sturgis. "Maybe your attraction to her is getting in the way of working together. How long have you been with her at Headquarters now?"

"Almost six years," Harm answered

"Well, sexual tension can build up." Time for shock value, decided Sturgis. "Maybe you should just bang her and get it over with."

Harm literally grabbed Sturgis by the shoulders and pushed him up against the pole of the basketball hoop. "How dare you suggest that _anyone_, … least of all me, treat her that way!?! And does your father know you talk like that?" Harm was furious.

Sturgis smiled, which only annoyed Harm more.

"What's so funny?"

"You. You're so protective of her."

"Of course I'm protective of her!! I …" Harm censored himself and did not finish the thought. Instead he filled in, "She's my partner … and my best friend."

"She's probably attracted to you too, Harm. So why not just sleep with her and see if it helps anything?"

"I'm not going to have some fling with her!"

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't deserve that. I respect her far too much. And I care about her too much to hurt her like that."

It was time for the question, point blank. "Are you in love with her?"

Harm let go of Sturgis and stepped away. "How I feel about her doesn't matter."

"How can you say that, man?" Sturgis noticed that his friend did not deny loving his partner.

"It's not a good idea."

"What's not? Telling her how you feel? Going out with her?"

"We work together."

"It's not against regs."

"We fight all the time as it is. Can you imagine us in a relationship?"

"You already have a relationship with her," insisted Sturgis. "Maybe you fight so much because you're not in the right kind of relationship."

Harm had enough. "I'm done with this conversation. … And this game," he said, referring to basketball. "You win for today." He started to walk away.

"Harm!" Sturgis called out after him. Harm reluctantly stopped and turned around.

Sturgis wanted to give one final thought to his friend. "Mac was pretty upset today after whatever happened between you. Her criticizing your control issues … and your implying that you don't need her – Was that all just about work? To her?"

Harm didn't answer. He simply turned and walked away.

----------

TBC …


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you to everyone who left me feedback! Glad you approved of how I had Sturgis' character giving Harm a bit of a blunt push in the last chapter. -- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 3**

As Harm showered, he couldn't help but think about the things Sturgis had said. And in no time at all, Harm found himself concluding, 'God, I _am_ in love with Mac, aren't I?' He knew she was the most important person in the world to him. He knew she made him feel like no one else ever had. He knew he wanted her in his life … always. He'd do anything for her.

He had been two seconds away from pummeling his old Academy buddy for implying that Mac could be just a meaningless one-night stand. A wham-bam, thank you ma'am. As if Mac should be treated like an otherwise worthless piece of flesh.

Mac deserved to be loved and cherished. If Harm ever got the opportunity to take Mac to bed, it would be with her knowing how much he cared about her. It would be long term. It would be because they were in love and wanted a future together.

But were they ready for more than friendship? They had danced around the issue, but never seemed to get anywhere. They were both finally free from other people, but he wasn't sure she was ready for more with him. She had pushed him away the last time he tried to talk to her about it, when she was TAD on the Guadalcanal.

Sure, before the Jag-a-thon she had said they should talk … when it happens. When it happens? What does that mean anyhow? Had they already had that talk? Was it their brief exchange after the Jag-a-thon when they agreed to start at the beginning?

Or was there a talk that still needed to be had? He thought there should be, because he had no idea where they stood. What did 'at the beginning' mean anyhow? Of their friendship or of something more?

Did she really want something more with him? She had at one time – in Sydney. Harm knew at that moment on the ferry that Mac wanted more from him. And she confirmed it the night of her engagement party, saying that she had been willing to risk a deeper relationship with Harm back when they'd been in Australia. But was she still interested?

He suddenly remembered part of their conversation that night out on the Admiral's porch. She had told him that he was afraid to lose control, but she wasn't talking about court cases then. He was pretty sure she was referring to relationships at the time. She had told him to let go of that lifeline – of control. Let go.

Those words took him back to Sydney once again, to the time when Mac had figured out that Harm was unable to 'let go' with her. He regretted that moment. Seeing her face. He knew she was hurt. She had felt rejected, he was sure. But that was the last thing that he wanted.

Maybe that's why she went straight to Brumby. Brumby would not reject her. Brumby was showering her with attention. _He_ had certainly 'let go' with her. For her. As much as Harm hated Brumby, he did realize just how much Mic was willing to let go of for Mac. Mic let go of his career. He let go of his country. He let go of control so much that he moved halfway across the world without any career plans or any kind of guarantee that Mac would even marry him.

On the other hand, Harm always thought Brumby was a true control freak. In Harm's opinion, Mic had always seemed to force things on Mac. Maybe Brumby didn't really let go of all those things for Mac at all, but was really impulsively taking risks for his own grand ideas and pressuring her to go along with his plans.

But it didn't matter anymore, because Brumby was finally out of the picture. It was just Harm and Mac now. … Harm and Mac.

And Harm wanted Mac. God, how he wanted her!! But was he willing to let go and to lose control? Because that's what it would mean for him. It would be going into unchartered territory, and he would have to let her co-pilot. What if they crashed? What if she rejected him? What if it ruined their friendship? Their working relationship?

He never had to worry about losing control in his relationships with other women, because they were all safe. Safe, because he didn't really care what happened. It hadn't mattered. But Mac did matter. More than anything. He couldn't stand to lose her. He wouldn't survive her walking away from him.

So, yes, he had control issues when it came to a relationship with Mac. But if he wanted more, he knew that he would have to 'let go,' as she had said, and risk handing over some of that control to her. … He'd have to simply risk losing control to one emotion that he had never let drive him before.

Had Sturgis been right that, when Mac called him a control-freak, she wasn't just talking about the case? Was she still waiting for him to be ready to 'let go' with her?

And if that was true, when Harm had implied he hadn't needed her on the case, had Mac somehow taken that to mean that Harm felt he didn't need her at all? That he would not want her in his life? That was so far from the truth! He did need her and want her. And love her.

As Harm dried himself off and dressed, he resolved to have a talk with Mac. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but he needed to feel out if she had been thinking about these things. If she had, … no wonder she was so upset with him. And if she hadn't, … then he would need to continue to bury his feelings for her.

---

TBC …

A/N: Next chapter … Harm talks to Mac


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you very much for the feedback! I'm happy to know that people are enjoying this. -- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 4**

The next day, Harm steeled himself and walked to Mac's office where he knocked on her open door.

"Hi," he said nervously.

"What do you want, Harm?" she asked impatiently, keeping her eyes on her work.

"Do you have a minute? To talk?"

She looked up at him. "If this is about the Jacobs case, Harm, I haven't changed my opinion. I still think he should take the deal. Soon, … before any more evidence comes in and Singer withdraws her offer."

"I know. I mean, … I figured you'd say that. … Actually, you might have been right about that, but … that's not why I'm here."

He looked so serious and so anxious that Mac softened. "Come on in." She put her pen down.

Harm entered, shut the door behind him, and took a seat across from her desk. "I wanted to talk … about us."

"Us?"

"Yeah, us."

Figuring he was referring to their argument, she replied, "Harm, you know we go through periods when we fight and irritate each other, … but we always get through it."

"I know. I meant I want to talk about … you and me. Where we are. … Our … relationship."

Wow, Mac wasn't expecting this. She leaned back in her chair and tentatively folded her arms. "What brought this on all of a sudden?" she asked.

"Well, I was talking to Sturgis, and …"

A bolt of panic struck Mac with the fear that Sturgis spilled her secret … that she was in love with Harm. She quickly sat up in her chair and interrupted, "What did Sturgis tell you?"

Harm was confused as to why Mac looked so worried all of a sudden. But he glanced away from her and mumbled, "You don't want to know."

"I think I do," she insisted.

Harm stood up, walked to the corner of her office, and awkwardly faced the wall, leaving Mac to look at his side profile, while he fingered a knick-knack on one of her shelves. "Basically, … he wanted to know … why I … haven't slept with you."

Mac could tell this was very uncomfortable for Harm, and she realized that what he had just said was the big news, … at least, as far as what he had gotten from Sturgis. Fairly confident that Sturgis had kept her secret, she felt relieved and leaned back in her chair.

Time to deal with what Harm was actually talking about, which, when she let the topic sink in, obliterated her recent sense of relief. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I see," she finally said. Cautiously, she asked, "And … what did you say?"

Harm turned to face Mac, without looking at her, and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "I said … I'm not interested in … having a fling with you."

Mac didn't know how to take that. Was he saying he wasn't interested in her at all? Or that he wanted something more than a fling?

Fortunately, he clarified, "I mean, … I don't just want some short term thing with you for the heck of it." He finally ventured his eyes up to meet hers.

Mac thought that sounded like he might be interested in something more with her, and when she saw the look in his eyes her heart did some strange type of leap. But she had to be sure.

"So, … what are you interested in … with me?" Her heart was now racing. This was the big question that haunted her day after day.

Harm swallowed hard. "Well, uh, …" He sat back down. "I kinda think that's something we should discuss … later."

Mac could almost scream. Couldn't he ever just give her a clear answer? Just this once? But she recomposed herself and sat up, taking a long breath. "Yeah, I guess now is not the time or the place for that."

"Right," agreed Harm quickly. He knew he was being a coward, but he just wasn't sure he could take it if Mac didn't feel the same way as he did. He needed to do this gradually and be more sure about what he thought Mac wanted.

"Uh, in the meantime," he said, trying to lighten things up, "do you have any plans for Friday night?"

Mac's frustration quickly dissipated, leaving her with a pleasant anxiety. Could he actually be asking her out on a date? She smiled. "Why?"

"I was wondering if you could possibly join me for something."

Harm noticed the way she started looking at him. There seemed to be a glimmer in her eyes to match her beautiful smile. There was something more in the way she was gazing at him that he couldn't quite place; but it touched him.

Mac was thinking that, for as maddening as Harm's ambiguous statements could be, she loved the man. She looked at him with her heart fully admitting that she was _completely_ in love with him.

"What kind of something?" she asked.

Her mind was reeling with possibilities of what she hoped he would say. 'A date, … a nice dinner out, … or dancing, … a date, … a movie, … or a quiet evening at his apartment, … a date. _Please_ let it be a date!'

"Well, … I have a new neighbor who just moved in downstairs," he said. "She wanted me to show her around, but she's really into shopping. You're a lot more familiar with good shopping places than I am. I thought … maybe you'd like to join us … You know, a night out on the town."

Harm was going for what he thought would be safe. They could spend time together on something entirely non-work related, but with a third party along, there would be no pressure.

Plus, this was an opportunity to show Mac that there were things for which he really did rely on her. He didn't want to make the mistake of her thinking that he didn't need or want her around. In this case, he'd be depending on her shopping expertise. Of course, he did need her for much more important things, but he'd have to wait to explain that to her.

Unfortunately, Mac didn't understand his intent. Her heart practically hit the floor. He wanted her to come along as a third wheel, while he flirted with his new neighbor!?! He wanted to use Mac's shopping knowledge so he could look better in the eyes of some new woman in his life!?!

God, how could he tease her like that? Make her think he might actually be interested in her and then put her right back in place as good old reliable Mac, who he could call on for help, but who would never be the focus of his interests.

Well, there was no way! But her first mission was to save face. She told herself, 'Alright, Marine. Suck it up. _Do not_ let him know that you were about to throw yourself in his arms. _Do not_ let him know that he just destroyed your heart … again.'

She managed to keep the smile on her face for a moment, though it became a forced grimace, and the sparkle had instantly vanished from her eyes. She stood and looked away from him.

Walking to the door, she replied more bitterly than she intended, "I think I might actually have other plans on Friday."

Mac yanked the door open. She wasn't sure if she was going to storm out herself or kick Harm out on his sorry six, but there was no way she was spending one more moment in the small room with that man.

Tiner, who was on the other side of the door poised to knock, nearly had a heart attack from the surprise of the door flying open and facing a not-so-happy looking Marine.

"Uh, ma'am," he recovered, "I was just letting you and the Commander know that the Admiral is about to make an announcement. He wants everyone out in the bullpen."

"Thank you, Tiner," she said curtly.

Harm stood and walked outside the door, stepping next to Mac just as the Admiral appeared before them.

Their Commanding Officer cleared his throat and addressed everyone. "As some of you know, several years ago I hosted a get-together at my house for the people who work here to meet my daughter, Francesca. Her birthday is coming up, and she is coming back from Italy to visit me."

A few eyebrows rose from the newcomers in the office who were not aware the Admiral had a daughter.

"She requested an opportunity to meet all the new faces that have been added to this office since that time," said A.J., "as well as see some of the old ones again. So, um, … I've decided to have another party at my house, in her honor, … and you're all invited. This Friday, 1900. Oh, … and you're free to bring a guest. That'll be all. Carry on."

Harm looked over at Mac, and lightly noted, "Well, I guess we both have new plans for Friday night." Hopefully, he asked, "Do you want me to pick you up? We could go together."

"No. I'll manage to get there without you," Mac said quietly, trying to mask her irritability. Taking on a false cheeriness, she added, "But you shouldn't disappoint your new neighbor. Why don't you invite her along as your date?" Mac then sulked off, leaving a very confused sailor in her wake.

-----

TBC …


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm amused with how the comments to the last chapter varied so much in terms of which of the two was more at fault or which to sympathize with over the last disaster. But, that, I think is good if I've written it so that it can be interpreted either way (or of course equal blame, equal sympathy over the lack of effective communication). Thanks so much for the feedback! -- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 5**

Sturgis caught glimpse of the Marine hurrying away with a mixture of fury and disappointment about her, and he shook his head. He walked over to Harm.

"What did you do now?"

"I don't know, Sturgis," came the bewildered response. "I honestly don't know." Harm returned to his office, and Sturgis followed, closing the door behind him.

"You wanna talk about it?" Commander Turner asked.

"Not really," replied Harm. "But was there some other reason you followed me in here?"

"Just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," Harm insisted.

"Okay." Sturgis was about to open the door when Harm's voice interrupted him.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea."

"What?"

"Me and Mac. I try to reach out to her, even a little, and she storms away from me. I don't even know why."

"Did you tell her how you feel?"

"No. I told you, my feelings don't matter."

Knowing what he did about Mac, Sturgis got upset and stated sarcastically, "Well, that's very noble of you, Harm. But what about how _she_ feels? Did you ever consider that?" His tone was now very accusatory. "Do _her_ feelings matter?"

"What the hell would you know about her feelings?" Harm shot back. He didn't believe for a second that Sturgis had anything but assumptions about how Mac felt about anything or anyone.

"More than you realize," Sturgis confidently answered. "The question is - what do _you_ know about them?"

"Nothing!" said Harm in exasperation. "That's why I'm in this mess to start with."

"Then maybe you should ask her." Sturgis used a harsh tone. "Or better yet, maybe you should just open your eyes and _see_ how she feels about you."

"And just how are you so sure you know _anything_ about how she feels?"

Calming down, Commander Turner answered, "I'm sworn to secrecy on that one."

"Well, you want to clue me in?" snapped Harm petulantly.

Sturgis shook his head and snorted. "Open your eyes, Harm." He opened the door and left.

-------

In her distracted state, Mac ran right into Sturgis just as he was about to enter his office.

"Sorry," he apologized, even though she had been the one to run into him.

Suddenly realizing who she had bumped into, Mac exclaimed, "You!"

She pushed him into his office and shut the door. "What do you think you're doing, talking to Harm?"

"Harm's my friend and my colleague. We talk all the time."

"Not about me, you don't. Not about Harm and me. _That_ topic is off limits, and you know it!"

"I didn't tell him that you're in love with him."

"And you'd better keep it that way! Because I swear, Turner, if you go blabbing to him, I will personally send your six to the bottom of the ocean, and you'd better hope some of your old submarine buddies are there to save you!"

"Colonel." He addressed her seriously. After having just dealt with Rabb, he wasn't in the mood to play their game.

"What?"

"Would it be so bad for him to know?"

"Yes." Her answer was desperate.

"Why?"

Mac's mind couldn't even process all the reasons. God, if Harm knew how she felt and didn't feel the same, … she'd be mortified for starters. How could she ever work with him again? How could they remain friends without things being awkward? Or what if knowing, he just felt pressured to pretend he felt something more for her, when he didn't? She didn't want his pity, damn it!

But even if he did have feelings for her, and there were days when she was able to convince herself that he did, he would have to be the one to say he was ready, because she wasn't going to put herself out there again. Not after what happened in Sydney.

"It's complicated, and … I can't deal with this right now. Just please, stay out of it," she begged.

"Fine." Sturgis had done all he was going to do. These two were on their own.

---------

The following day, Bud stopped at Harm's office.

"Sir, have you seen the Hudson file? I wanted to go over the girlfriend's statement again."

Harm had been immersed in sorting through the paper work accumulating on his desk. "Uh no, Bud, I haven't," he replied distractedly.

Just as Bud was about to leave, Harm called, "… Oh, wait! That's the case where the major's girlfriend stole a car? And the major decided to protect her by saying that he took the car himself, right?"

"Yes, sir. That, and he is now accused of receiving stolen property."

"Actually, I think it might be in this pile here. Let me check." As Harm sifted through the pile of folders on his desk, he asked, "… Why did she do it, anyway? - Steal the car."

"The major apparently admired it," Bud answered. "She wanted to get it for him, but couldn't afford it."

"Yeah, but why risk the consequences?"

"She said it was because she loves him. She wanted him to know that and wanted to make him happy."

Out of curiosity, Harm asked, "Do you believe that?"

Bud shrugged. "Women in love do strange things, sir."

"Yeah, I guess." Harm found the file Bud was looking for, but held onto it, suddenly wanting to ask Bud a question. "… Hey Bud, … what about when Harriet was first in love with you?"

"Sir?"

"Did she do strange things? Or anything really … that made you … think she loved you? I mean, … how did you know … how she felt about you?"

Bud got that classic confused look on his face, wondering why Harm was asking him the obvious. "She told me, sir."

"Right." Harm mentally reproached himself for not having seen that answer coming. He clarified, "Did, uh, … did you know before she told you?"

"I had a pretty good idea," said Bud innocently. "I mean, … I hoped."

"Right," Harm agreed. Then, overdoing the sense of assurance, he added, "… You had good reason to hope." Harm smiled, trying to hide the fact that he was still searching for some insight.

There was an awkward moment when both men were trying to figure out if that was the end of that topic. Finally, in an effort to relate things back to the case and cover up his reason for asking the question, Harm said, "Well, it's a good thing she didn't steal any cars for you."

"Yes, sir. Harriet wouldn't have done anything that extreme." Hearing what he had just said and not wanting to give a misimpression, Bud modified, "… Not that she wouldn't do anything for me. … I mean, I don't doubt how much she loves me. Just like I love her. It's just that she didn't have to do anything that outrageous for me to know she loves me."

Seriously, Harm responded, "No, and she shouldn't have to. I imagine there are probably more subtle signs of a woman being in love."

"Oh, yes, sir, there are," Bud agreed, relieved that he was not getting himself into hot water by conveying the untrue notion that he didn't think his wife loved him enough.

That was the opening Harm was looking for. "Like what?"

"What?"

"What kind of subtle signs do women give that they are in love? How would you know one was in love with you if she didn't tell you?"

"Umm, … well, I suppose women differ in how they react," said Bud.

"Well, how did you know with Harriet?" Harm preempted Bud from repeating his earlier answer, "Other than her telling you." Then, hoping to get as much out of Bud as possible, he suggested, " … Even, say, after she told you she loved you – how did you know for sure?"

"Uh, … you know …" Bud fumbled, "things like, she, … well, she'd go out of her way to do nice things for me, … umm, … and she'd sort of get irrationally jealous when she thought I was paying too much attention to some other woman."

Remembering a particular instance, Bud said, "… Even if it was just asking a woman at the store to move her grocery cart." Becoming defensive, Bud explained, "… I mean, _I_ didn't _choose_ that the person blocking the aisle was … a somewhat good looking female …" Bud had to stop himself from rambling with details of that story.

He refocused and continued, " … But mostly, …" Bud took on a dreamy sort of expression and with confidence declared, "… the way she looked at me." He paused for a moment, but then, when his head suddenly cleared, he added, "… And, of course, the way she forgave me for screwing up so much. I mean, after she thought I stood her up at that restaurant … I thought I lost my chance, … and then the thing with the stripper and jail before our wedding, … and I don't _ever_ want to relive that time after the comment I made from Australia …"

Harm nodded, and cut Bud off. "I … understand, Bud. … Well, … as much as I think I will ever understand anything related to women. Thanks." Harm smiled at his own dig at the opposite sex. He had to cover up any serious thoughts he had been having.

"Umm, sure, sir."

"Oh, … here's that file." Harm handed the Hudson folder over to Bud.

"Sir …" Bud wanted to inquire why Harm was suddenly interested in the behavior of women in love.

"Yeah?"

On second thought, Bud decided against asking. Some things were better left alone. "… Thanks for the file."

------

Harm hadn't seen Mac at all since she had walked away from him after the Admiral's announcement about Friday night. Shortly after that, she left to work on an investigation in Norfolk. She would probably still be working there late tomorrow, so she might not even make it to the Admiral's party.

He had been giving a lot of thought to what Sturgis had said about Mac's emotions. Harm didn't know why he had been so self-absorbed as to not consider how Mac was feeling. Maybe Mac did want something more with him, and all of his procrastinating was just hurting her? The last thing he wanted was to cause her any pain.

Had she had enough time after her aborted wedding that she was ready to move on? Was it possible that she _could_ actually feel for him something similar to what he felt for her? She was obviously aware of 'this thing' between them as much as he was. Might she actually be in love with him too?

His thoughts drifted to what Bud had said about things Harriet had done that clued Bud in that she loved him. Okay, … so it was probably different when you were actually dating someone, but some of the principles might be the same.

Bud had mentioned Harriet going out of her way to do nice things. Of course Mac had done nice things for Harm. Big things – like risking her life following him on his insane quest to Russia. That, in and of itself, would qualify as quite extreme, the type of behavior he had said earlier should be unnecessary. That should count for a lot. But it was also a long time ago.

Then there were the little things she did. There were some recent examples of that. Like when she brought coffee into his office for him last week so that he could avoid the break room and the Singer jokes.

Sure, Mac ribbed him about his loss to Singer too, but when she realized how bad he was getting it from everyone else in the office, she seemed to become protective of him. When he thanked her, she had shrugged and said that's what friends were for. But none of his other friends had brought him coffee so that he could avoid the stinging comments.

The way she looked at him? Bud said that was the big one. But you had to be able to interpret those looks. Harm was very good at interpreting some of Mac's expressions. Like when she was hiding something. When things were not going well for her. When she was being mischievous, worried, angry, frustrated. He knew those looks well.

But sometimes, when she looked at him … he just wasn't sure what was behind it. He liked the way he felt when she gazed at him with one of those unidentified looks. For instance, how she had eyed him for just a moment in her office the day before. The same way she looked at him when she had brought him coffee last week. It could be love, but how was he to know?

Bud had also mentioned irrational jealousy. Well, if Mac wanted to know that Harm loved her, there were plenty of examples on this front. But, wait, … they hadn't really been irrational, had they? Dalton, Mic. They had both eventually taken her. Taken her away from him, even if it hadn't ended up being permanent.

Alright, so there were probably a few other men Harm had been jealous of over the years too. Pretty much whenever some other guy was the lucky recipient of one her smiles. But that wasn't nearly as bad as when another guy got to be touched by her, no matter how innocently. Yeah, … her touching another man was definitely the worst.

But had Mac ever been jealous over Harm? She hadn't really liked his past girlfriends, but she seemed supportive enough. She made fun of him sometimes for the way he attracted women or when she thought he was flirting with one of them. But sometimes, just for a moment, he would find traces of hurt on her face too.

That was another expression of hers that he was familiar with. Hurt. He had seen it yesterday … after he asked her to join him and his neighbor on Friday. But he didn't understand why that would have hurt her. It was a simple activity with the lady downstairs. All he even told Mac was that his neighbor was new in town and that she liked shopping.

Wait, … that was all he told her, wasn't it? Could she have assumed that he was interested in his neighbor? Was that what she meant by her comment about bringing his neighbor as a date to the Admiral's party?

Even if the circumstances had been different, and his neighbor was available and attractive, why should Mac have been jealous? … Since he was inviting her along with them? It didn't make sense. It was … irrational.

But then again, to be honest with himself, if Mac invited him out to join her and another man, he'd be damned jealous. But that was because he loved her!

… Maybe, just maybe, … she loved him too? Maybe that's why she had gotten so upset the day before.

Well, that left one thing on Bud's list. Willingness to forgive all the stupid ways he'd screwed up. And Harm knew he had screwed up big time over the years. Mostly, because he couldn't say the words he needed to say. He didn't make himself clear.

He should have been better about telling her how he felt before he left JAG to fly and, of course, on the ferry in Sydney. There were a million times when he wished he could have stepped up and admitted things when she was open to hearing them.

Then there were the words he did say that just came out wrong. Like that stupid comment about the men she had been involved with. What was he thinking with that one? It didn't matter that he didn't think she would have heard him – it was stupid to have said at all. And it hurt her.

And, … what if she believed what he had said?! What if she didn't think that he wanted anything to do with her because of some illogical fear of death or disaster? That could certainly explain why she wasn't initiating any kind of talk between them on this subject. How idiotic could he be?!

Maybe Mac was better off staying away from him. He had hurt her so much. Sure, she had forgiven him as a friend for all sorts of things. But maybe it was best for her not to get involved with a guy as stupid as he is about relationships.

But then Harm remembered what Sturgis said about Mac's feelings. Of course her feelings mattered. If she felt about him, anywhere near how he felt about her, then she wouldn't care about him being stupid every now and then. He knew he'd forgive her for just about anything if she'd just give him a chance to be with her … to love her.

What if she felt the same way about him? After all, Harriet had forgiven Bud. And Bud was no expert on relationships when they started going out. But Harriet loved Bud and knew that Bud loved her, so it didn't matter in the long run.

Harm needed to talk to Mac again. The next time he saw her, he had to make things right. He was really starting to convince himself that she might be in love with him. And he knew he was in love with her. And if they were both in love with each other … they should be together.

----

TBC …

A/N: Next up … the party starts.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you for the continued feedback! Yes, I enjoyed writing Sturgis as his good ol' self, the way he was when he joined the show. And it was, of course, fun to play with Bud's bumbling wisdom. -- But not as fun as I usually have writing Harm and Mac together. :0) -- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 6**

He was being anti-social, but he didn't care. The only person he wanted to talk to wasn't there. Harm had come to the Admiral's house hoping to see Mac's corvette parked outside. But it wasn't. She must have been kept at Norfolk.

He had been hovering near the door, checking vigilantly every time someone arrived or every minute, whichever came first. Francesca had been disappointed at Harm's level of distraction, but there were more than enough people who had shown up to keep her occupied for the evening.

Apparently, Harm's behavior was making the Admiral nervous though, because the Commanding Officer asked him to stop pacing around and, instead, help with serving drinks.

The task kept Harm busy and, of course, forced him to have small interactions with others, but his mind was still focused on the missing Marine. As time passed, he was beginning to resign himself to the fact that she would probably not be coming at all.

He had just finished getting Carolyn a beverage, when he was approached by a woman that he did not know.

"Hi, … I understand you're Commander Rob?"

"Commander Rabb," he corrected. "Harm."

"Harm," she repeated.

"And you are?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Gina. I came with Victor."

"Gunny. … He's a good man."

"He is. And he's having a great time tonight. … You, on the other hand," she said to Harm, "seem to be in another world."

"Just … thinking." He then offered her one of his smiles and poured her a drink.

"Well, if I were you, I would get with the party. I must say that I'm envious of the JAG office." She observed, "The people here all seem so friendly and comfortable with each other. Like a family."

"Mmmhmm," he agreed, handing her a glass. He briefly appreciated the fact that Singer was not able to make the party.

"Thanks," Gina said as she took the drink. "You know, … I look around and I can't help but be amazed at this really wonderful group. I see people laughing, and dancing, and having a really good time. … What do you see?"

"Excuse me?" he asked, not having been paying all that much attention.

"I think you should start becoming more aware of your environment here, Harm. When you look around, what do you see?"

"Uh, I see …" He took a moment to scan the room. "I see a good party. I see … a lot of good friends. I see …"

At that moment, he spotted Mac, who was wearing a dress that brought out all of her physical qualities that he admired so much. She was smiling slightly, talking to Bud and Harriet. She must have slipped in while Harm was busy with drinks.

"… I see ... a desirable woman," he finished. "Excuse me." Without even looking back at Gina, he took off in Mac's direction.

------

"Hi," Harm said to her anxiously.

"Hi," Mac replied somewhat uncomfortably.

"You wrap things up in Norfolk?"

"Yeah, I was just telling Bud and Harriet that it's been a long day, but I'm glad the work part is over."

Bud piped up, "It sounds like the Colonel has some interesting stories to tell about this investigation."

"Which can wait until Monday," Harriet admonished her husband. "Colonel MacKenzie has had enough of work and should now enjoy the party."

"Right," Bud agreed.

"Oh, hey, it looks like Francesca is finally finished chatting with Tiner," Harriet noticed. "Now would be a good time for us to go talk with her. Come on, Bud. Talk to you two later," she said to Harm and Mac, taking her husband's hand and leading him to the guest of honor.

"So, … did you lose your date?" Mac asked Harm.

Harm simply stared at her with a confused expression, which prompted her to continue.

"I assume that the woman you were getting a drink for a few minutes ago is your new neighbor?"

"Gina?"

"I don't know," Mac tried to smile at her confused-looking partner, "you tell me."

"Mac, she's Gunny's date. I didn't bring anyone."

"Oh." Mac looked a little guilty, having assumed that Harm had brought somebody with him.

Harm noted the look, but didn't understand it. Then he suddenly had a horrible thought. What if Mac didn't come alone?

"Did you?" he asked, as he started looking around to see if there were any male additions to the party.

"What? Bring someone?" Mac filled in the rest of the question. "… No. I didn't even know if I'd be able to come myself until an hour ago." She quietly added, "Not that I had anyone I wanted to bring anyhow."

"Good." Realizing that sounded insensitive, he added, "I mean, good that you're here. I'm really glad you came, because … I want to talk to you." He took a second to figure out where to start. "I, uh, … wanted to explain about that shopping thing …"

"Yeah, Harm. About that …"

Now that Mac had had the time to build up her defensive walls again, she had resigned herself to the inevitable. Harm was interested in another woman. It should not be all that surprising. She had convinced herself that, even if Harm had feelings for her beyond friendship, he was too scared to ever do anything about it. He would stick with safer choices in women. Maybe that was what was best for him.

Meanwhile, Mac decided that Harm had asked her for help, and as a friend, she couldn't deny him. But she didn't have to witness him romancing some other female first hand either.

"… Why don't I just give you a list of some places you can take her?" she suggested.

"Because I wanted you to come," he countered quickly. "That was the point."

Mac was confused. "You want me to meet your neighbor? Harm, since when do you need my approval for the women you date?"

Yeah, Harm saw it. That hurt look. She was jealous. She had been covering it quite well, but he saw it.

"Mac, I'm not interested in dating my neighbor."

She was relieved to hear that, but still bewildered. After the day she had been through though, her mind really wasn't up for processing Harm's puzzles.

"You know, I didn't have dinner, and I'm really hungry," she said, moving towards the table where remnants of food were scattered about.

"Oh, right!" Harm suddenly remembered something. "Wait right here! … Don't take any of that stuff."

"Ohhh-kay …" Mac agreed with a perplexed look. Harm had disappeared before she finished drawing out the word.

Three minutes later, Harm returned with a warm plate full of assorted foods. Much of the plate, to Mac's delight, was full of some of her favorite meat dishes. And everything looked wonderful.

"Here you go," he presented it to her.

"Wow, where did you get this?"

"I, uh, knew you might be late and would probably be hungry. I know how you don't always eat so well when you're out on investigations. Anyway, … I picked out some things for you earlier and set them aside."

His eyes surveyed the plate as he mentally inventoried for the fifth time that night whether he had included everything Mac would enjoy. "I didn't want all the good stuff to be gone by the time you got here," he explained, "… and it looks like I was right." Harm referenced the table where, indeed, many of the better dishes had been emptied. "So, I hid this away and warmed it up for you just now."

Mac was really touched that Harm would have done that for her. It was times like these when she could almost believe that she was as important to him as he was to her. "How did you even know I'd be able to come tonight?"

"I didn't. But I was hoping."

"Oh. Well, … thanks." Mac looked at Harm with a kind, but uncertain look as she took her plate.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she answered. "It's just, … this was awfully thoughtful of you." Half joking, she added accusingly, "… Makes me think you want something."

Harm laughed. He was thinking, 'If she only knew how much I want from her.' He settled for saying, "I've been known to do thoughtful things on occasion."

He went to get Mac a drink, which took longer than he intended, since there were other people who wanted refills, and he got pulled back onto drink duty. By the time he returned, Mac was nearly finished eating.

"Here you go. Sorry that took so long," Harm apologized.

"No problem. Thanks." She took the drink from him. "And thanks for making me a plate. You picked some really good stuff here, Harm. Not your usual fare, I must say."

"Well, I wasn't making a plate for myself. I know what you like."

She smiled. "Sometimes."

-------

TBC …


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I love the comments! Thanks! Alix33, you made me laugh with your 'hot' review.

Anyhow, this picks up right where it left off last chapter with Harm talking to Mac at the party (and being oh so sweet, as the reviewers noted). -- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 7**

"Listen, Mac. The other day … you told me you'd be around to talk … if I came to my senses."

"The Jacobs case," she remembered. "You finally thinking of taking that deal?"

"Actually, Jacobs agreed to take the deal earlier today. … I would have let you know sooner, as co-counsel, but I couldn't get in touch with you."

Mac was surprised. "Was that on your advice?"

"It was. I assume you're okay with that decision."

"Yeah. What changed your mind?"

"Uh, NCIS came across some new evidence that was going to be sent for DNA testing."

"That would be very conclusive. … But only bad for Jacobs if he was guilty."

Harm looked at the floor, "Yeah, uh, … I thought about what you said, and so I pushed Jacobs a little on his story."

Looking around to make sure no one else could hear, in the interest of keeping attorney-client privilege, he whispered in her ear, "He sort of slipped up and pretty much had to admit to doing it. So I knew the DNA would be the nail in his coffin."

Despite the pleasant chill that Mac got from Harm's breath on her ear, she managed to stay focused. "But Singer would know that having DNA would make her case airtight. She didn't retract the deal?"

Harm gave Mac a sly smile. "She was out of the office this morning when I heard from NCIS. I met with Jacobs and made the deal with her as soon as she walked in this afternoon."

"She didn't know about the new evidence yet," Mac surmised. "Lucky for our client," she commented.

Then, ready to rub in the fact that it would not have come down to such last minute luck if he had taken the deal immediately as she had suggested, Mac began to add, "Of course, …"

"I know, I know," Harm interrupted. "If I had listened to you to begin with …"

Mac grinned. "When are you going to learn to trust me, sailor?" she teased.

"In the few areas where I don't already trust you implicitly? I'm … working on changing that." He quickly added, "Though, I still reserve the right to have a difference of opinion, … especially on professional issues."

Before Mac could respond to the first part of his reply, Harm changed subjects. "Mac, when I said I came to my senses and wanted to speak to you, … I wasn't really talking about the Jacobs case."

"Well, that's what I had been referring to when I made that comment."

"Were you?" He was thinking about what Sturgis had said, about their argument being about more than work to her.

Mac had no idea what the man in front of her was talking about. "You've lost me, Harm."

"Mac, I … seem to have upset you this week … several times."

Mac sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "I told you, Harm, we go through these periods when we argue, but we get through them." She smirked. " … Especially when you admit I'm right," she added playfully, before taking the last bite of her food.

Harm gave her a glare in response, but was not to be deterred. "I just think that maybe our fighting … sometimes indicates … other things. Underlying things … going on between us."

"Since when do you want to analyze our underlying issues? As a matter of fact, I distinctly remember a time when you and I were at each other's throats on the Watertown, and when I suggested we talk about deeper issues, you -"

"I was wrong," Harm interrupted.

Mac was taken aback. "Wow, you are on some kind of roll tonight. Twice now, you've admitted I was right and you were -"

"Hey, don't rub it in!" he acted offended for a few seconds, but then gave her a grin.

Getting serious, he decided to try a more direct approach. He softly asked, "Why did you get mad when I asked you to join me and my neighbor, Mac?"

And with that simple question, all of Mac's defenses went into full operation. "I didn't get mad."

"You weren't happy."

"I simply told you I had plans," she explained, not wanting to get into this.

"What plans?"

"That's none of your business!" she snapped. She wasn't going to admit that she had invented an excuse so she wouldn't have to see him with another woman.

"I don't think you had any plans, Mac. You were fine until I mentioned my female neighbor."

Damn! When did he get to be so perceptive? And why was he attacking her? Sticking with her denial strategy, she responded, "Why would I be upset about your neighbor?"

"I don't know."

"Harm, this is ridiculous. You're looking for problems where there are none."

"I think you were jealous," he persisted.

"Jealous?" Of course she was, but there was no way in hell that she was going to admit that to him. She was not going to let him see her weakness. "Harm, that would imply I have some sort of vested interest in you."

"You don't think you do?" he asked, searching what she meant by that. Did she not care?

She just stared at him. Terrified. Was he asking her for an admission?

He rescued her, by trying to start over. "Mac, I told you I wanted to talk about us."

Finding her voice again, she quickly dismissed his idea. "There is no 'us' right now, Harm. Except for being partners and … and I don't even know what else we are!" Despite her intensity, Mac's voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"And maybe there should be more," she said, "but … can we _not_ do this here? We're in the middle of a party at our CO's house, for god sake. And I'm really not up for this discussion right now."

"Okay. But, I think we should define it."

"What?"

"'Us.' I think we need to establish our boundaries."

Boundaries? It echoed in Mac's head. Boundaries meant borders, restraints, … confinement. He wanted to _limit_ their relationship? For a moment, she had actually thought his insistence on this topic might mean he was considering moving forward with her. But, of course not. There were other reasons for bringing this issue to the table.

He had sensed her jealousy, she thought, which probably scared him. He would want to make sure he wasn't leading her on. He was honorable that way. And he'd want to make sure their friendship was kept intact.

"I need some air." She turned to head toward the door, but suddenly stopped and looked back at him. "Do _not_ follow me out there!"

Her demand had not been at a high volume, as she had no desire to attract attention to herself or Harm. But he got the message loud and clear.

Mac swiftly made her way to the front door and disappeared. Harm stood, frozen. How had things gone so wrong? Once again, he had forced her to run. Maybe she wasn't ready after all. He was conflicted as to whether he should go after her, even though she had insisted that he not. More than ever, he felt he needed to clear things up.

Without making a conscious decision, he took a step in the direction of the door. But he felt a hand on his arm stopping him.

"Give her a minute," said Harriet, sympathetically. "Then go to her."

"She told me not to," he automatically responded.

"I know," said Harriet. She had overheard the last parts of their exchange. Putting that together with what Bud had told her about how Harm had recently been asking questions regarding the behavior of women in love, she had gotten the gist of what was going on.

"She'll be mad if I go out there," he pointed out.

"Yes, she will," Harriet conceded. Harm looked at her with confusion. She continued, "But she'll be grateful in the long run … if you get things right."

"I don't know that I can."

"Piece of advice, sir?"

He didn't know how Harriet had any clue as to what was going on, but right now he really didn't care. He was feeling pretty desperate.

"If you truthfully open up with her, … she's more likely to do the same with you."

He nodded, in blind understanding, and started for the door again.

"Commander!" Harriet called, stopping him. "Give her a minute though."

Harm turned back to the junior officer with a pained look on his face. "What if she's leaving?"

"She won't leave yet," Harriet declared with confidence.

"How do you know?"

"Because she hasn't talked with Francesca and the Admiral yet." Harriet smiled. "She won't leave until she's at least touched base with them."

TBC …

----

A/N: Sorry, I don't have time to put up more this morning. I'll see if I can do the next post tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: So, based on the comments, I think I need to remind a few readers to breathe! Deep, relaxing breaths. I'm so glad people are enjoying this story. Thanks for the feedback!

-- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 8**

Mac stood outside on the Admiral's porch, leaning against the railing and taking in the cool air. She was trying to calm herself, but the porch didn't exactly have soothing memories. The last time she and Harm had come to their commanding officer's home, the two of them spent most of their time out on this porch. It had been her engagement party … to another man. The wrong man.

She and Harm had hashed through a lot that night. And in the end … he had left her more confused and conflicted than ever. She sighed at the memory of the kiss they had shared that night. That kiss, which was meant to be a soft, simple goodbye, a testament to their friendship, but … had taken on a life of its own after Harm didn't let it go. She silently chuckled. … Harm had trouble letting a lot of things go.

If it had been under any other circumstances, that kiss would probably rank among her all time favorite moments. Any other scenario and she would not have walked away from him. She would have embraced him. She had struggled that night to walk back in the house when what she really wanted was to cling to Harm and beg him never to let _her_ go. But it was not to be. She went back to Mic and he to Renee.

Then her world turned upside down, or maybe right side up. She wasn't sure. Harm nearly died, Mic left her, Renee left him, and she and Harm agreed to be back at the beginning. The beginning of what, she had no idea. Sure, she'd been the one to suggest it, but that was simply to counter his suggestion that they were at the end. She didn't know what he had been referring to when he said that either, but she knew she didn't want to end anything with him. The beginning sounded much better.

So what was he trying to do tonight? Was he trying to extend a beginning or an end? It sounded like Harm was proposing the beginning of a defined friendship … one with boundaries and limits. The end of all her dreams to have something more with him. That's really why she ran away this time. Why she didn't want to hear what he was trying to tell her. If he didn't say it, then she could still cling to hope. Hearing it, on the other hand, would make it so.

She sighed and put her hands over her face for a moment. Why did things have to be so complicated? It shouldn't be. She loved him after all. And he … well, he cared about her. She didn't doubt that. She had to smile at how he had gotten her food tonight. He had definitely been thinking about her. He was a good friend in so many ways.

And on some level, she knew he loved her. He had told her that on this very porch, hadn't he? 'Mac, you have someone who will always love you,' he had said. She was fairly sure he was speaking about himself and not Mic. But she wasn't sure how far Harm's love went. Or if he would ever be willing to risk being with her. After all, as he had so adeptly put, men who had been involved with her ended up dead … or feeling like they were.

Maybe it was because she loved him so much, that she should be willing to let him live his life independently of her. To spare him her curse, if nothing else. … But Harm didn't believe in curses or bad luck. He'd made that clear on several occasions. So should she believe she was cursed? … No. It wasn't a curse … Things ended badly because of her bad decisions. Always choosing to be with the wrong men for the wrong reasons.

Somewhere inside her, she still hoped that if she could just be with the right man … it would all work out. She could create the family of her dreams with him. And every time she pictured it, that man was Harm.

Sometimes she thought he wanted the same thing with her. For instance, he hadn't forgotten about their baby deal. She had been surprised when he brought that up the night of her engagement party.

Where was he going with the idea of the baby deal anyhow? Normal people don't do things like that. She had hoped it had meant more than just the biology of having a child, but she really was not sure. Harm and his puzzles! If he would just let her in about how he felt and what he really wanted. She was getting mixed signals from him all the time, and it was driving her nuts!

But she hadn't been much better as far as giving him signals, had she? She reacted to him based on how she perceived her chances were with him. It suddenly occurred to her that he might be doing the same. That each of them were so stubborn that neither wanted to make the first move?

She considered that for a moment and briefly felt guilty about the possibility that she was somehow holding him back. But she _had_ made the first move. She was the one who had let him know she wanted him in Sydney. Frankly, she didn't know if she could take the rejection again. Her heart just didn't feel that strong.

Mac's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the front door opened. She turned her head slightly in that direction, - just enough to catch Harm's figure in her peripheral vision.

"What part of 'do not follow me,' did you not understand?" If it had been a few minutes earlier, that question would have been yelled at him, but since Mac had cooled, it came out as bitter, but soft sarcasm.

"The 'not' part," he replied, managing a small smile in an attempt at easing the situation.

"Obviously," she answered, looking completely away from him.

"Mac, … I, uh, didn't mean to upset you."

She shook her head. "It's okay. It's just been a long day for me. Maybe I shouldn't have even come here tonight. I probably should have gone straight to bed after I got back from the investigation."

"No, I'm glad you came," he said softly. "And don't let me ruin your time here tonight. … I'll give you space if that's what you want. I guess I was getting a little insistent." With a small grin he added, "Must be that control-freak part of me."

Mac looked up at him compassionately. "You're not really a control-freak, Harm. No more than I am."

He laughed slightly. "So I definitely have control issues then."

That earned him a glare, along with a trace of a smile.

"Anyhow," he continued, "I didn't mean to pressure you tonight."

Mac turned to face him straight on. "I _do_ want us to talk, Harm," she reassured him. "But I'm not sure tonight is the best …"

"It's okay," he stopped her. "Some other time," he agreed. He didn't want to force her on his timetable. He was just happy that she didn't seem to be so adverse to him anymore.

She nodded and turned back to the railing. Harm felt drawn to her and stepped closer so that he was standing behind her. Despite the tension that had been between them earlier, Mac felt comforted by his proximity and found herself leaning back against him just a little.

He smiled at her action and could not resist bringing his hand up to her shoulder.

At his touch, Mac felt an electric shock of sorts. She reflexively started to turn her head, but somehow had the sense to stop reacting. She didn't want to scare him away. She treasured feeling his hand on her.

To cover the sudden movement that she had begun with her head, she turned her neck, stretching it. It actually _was_ stiff from all the strain of the day – her investigation and then the stress of considering her issues with Harm.

He noticed. "You're tense."

"A little," she admitted. "It's been a long day."

He brought up his left hand to her other shoulder and began massaging her on both sides, working his way closer to her neck.

"Is this okay?" he asked, hoping he wasn't overstepping. It had been a long time since he had touched her like that.

"Oh, … more than okay," Mac responded, clearly enjoying the sensation of his fingers kneading her muscles. She closed her eyes and, for the moment, let herself get lost in his touch.

------

TBC …

A/N: Much better place to leave it for tonight, yes?


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Harm and Mac are out on the Admiral's porch, … but meanwhile …

**I See – Chapter 9**

A.J. Chegwidden suddenly noticed that there seemed to be some chaos at the table where the drinks were set up.

"What happened here?"

"Oh, sorry, sir," muttered a petty officer who, along with some others was trying to soak up liquid on the table and floor with napkins. "My wife wanted a drink, and, when I reached around back here, I accidentally spilled this bottle. I'm really sorry."

A.J. took on his fatherly tone, "It's alright, Petty Officer. Let me get some paper towels."

The Admiral then turned towards the kitchen, grumbling to no one in particular, "Where the hell is Rabb? I thought I had him on drink duty tonight?"

Tiner, who was nearby and eager to please as always, quickly volunteered, "I don't know, sir, but I'll go see if I can locate him for you."

A.J. nodded with a groan and headed to the kitchen.

Tiner made his way through the several rooms open to guests, but was unable to locate Harm. Finally, he decided to check the porch, remembering that Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie had spent a good deal of time out there at the last occasion.

Just before Tiner reached the front door, Harriet called to him, "Tiner, … are you going somewhere?"

"No, ma'am. I was looking for Commander Rabb."

"Is he needed for something?" Harriet asked.

"The Admiral was looking for him," the young man responded.

Harriet managed to move herself in front of the door, prohibiting Tiner from opening it. "And you checked the rest of the house?"

Okay, she was stalling. She did not want anyone interrupting whatever conversation was taking place outside. Those two had enough complications caused by themselves, without any additional obstacles or interruptions.

"Yes, ma'am," answered Tiner, trying to get around Lt. Sims to the door.

"You don't want to go out there," Harriet insisted. She tried to think of some excuse for that statement, but was coming up blank. Everything she could think of was ruled out since people had been coming in through that door all evening and would be leaving through it as well.

Tiner stared at her, awaiting an explanation.

"I think … the light's out on the porch," she finally came up with. "Too dark to see. You could hurt yourself. You should wait until someone fixes it."

Tiner smiled, "Oh, well, that's no problem. I'll go ask the Admiral where he keeps his extra light bulbs and a flashlight, and I'll change that in no time, ma'am." He started to turn away when Harriet called him back.

"Tiner, wait." She took a deep breath, knowing she would have to confess that the light really wasn't out. "The thing is …"

Just then Bud came over, looking inquisitively at his wife, who was now leaning against the front door. "What's going on, Honey?"

"I, uh, was just trying to explain to Tiner why he shouldn't go out on the porch to look for Commander Rabb _right now_."

After Harm had gone outside, Harriet had whispered to her husband that the two senior officers were on the porch, hopefully working out their relationship. Now she was hoping that Bud would understand what she was trying to do and come to her assistance.

Tiner explained to Lt. Roberts, "If it's just the light being out, I'll go get a bulb."

Without thinking, Bud declared, "The porch lights aren't out."

Harriet squeezed her eyes shut in frustration, something that Tiner missed. Bud noticed, however, and quickly realized that his wife had said otherwise for some reason.

"Er, … not permanently," Bud amended. He thought quickly. "There's a … meteor shower tonight. The lights might have been shut off so that … it wouldn't affect people's viewing."

"Really? A meteor shower? Great, I'll go check it out," said Tiner with enthusiasm.

"You don't want to do that right now," said Harriet. "Does he Bud?" she asked desperately.

Picking up on the hint, Bud said, "Uh, … no." He looked at his watch. "Actually, we missed it already. So … there's nothing to see," offered Bud.

"Oh," Tiner said, disappointed. He was about to turn away, when he remembered his initial mission. "I still need to check to see if Commander Rabb is out there."

"Tiner." Harriet needed a new strategy. "Did the Admiral actually order you to find Commander Rabb?"

Tiner thought about that for a moment. "… No, … I volunteered …"

"Good," replied Harriet. "Then, Tiner, I'm ordering you not to go out on this porch anytime soon."

"Yes, ma'am," said Tiner confusedly. "…. But the Admiral _was_ looking for the Commander," he added in a worried tone.

Sturgis was attracted to the group standing in front of the door. "What's going on over here?"

"Nothing," replied Harriet.

"I was looking for Commander Rabb," said Tiner.

"He's not in here somewhere?" Sturgis looked around. "I saw him talking to Mac earlier."

"I haven't been able to find him anywhere inside," said Tiner. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen the Colonel either."

Sturgis glanced over at Harriet, who had a guilty smile on her face.

"Lieutenant Sims, are the Colonel and Commander outside?" he asked her straight out.

"Yes, sir," she reluctantly admitted. "I believe they're having a … private conversation."

Sturgis suddenly caught on. "I see." He then added, "Well, if they are discussing what I think they are, … then they are certainly not to be disturbed."

At Tiner's baffled look, Sturgis elaborated, "A particularly sensitive case they've been ignoring for far too long. I definitely hope they get all the issues out on the table and are able to reach some sort of agreement." As he said the last part, Sturgis looked over at Harriet conspiratorially.

"Yes, sir," agreed Harriet.

Sturgis looked back at Tiner, "Why were you looking for Harm, anyway?"

"The Admiral was asking where he was because the Commander was supposed to be helping out with drinks."

Sturgis looked over to the drink table and saw that one of the paralegals from the office had taken control of serving beverages. "I don't think that is a problem anymore, Tiner."

Tiner followed Commander Turner's gaze and saw that drinks were being taken care of. "Oh, … I guess not."

"I think I'll get a refill actually," said Sturgis. "Tiner, why don't you come with me? I hear you're interested in becoming a lawyer yourself?"

"Yes, sir," the young man became very excited.

"Maybe I can give you a few pointers."

"That would be great, sir," Tiner answered eagerly following.

Sturgis glanced back quickly at Harriet, who smiled at him and sighed in relief.

Bud addressed his wife, "The Colonel and Commander aren't discussing a legal case, are they?"

"I hope not," she answered. "By the way, thanks for your help with the porch thing. Was there really a meteor shower tonight?"

"Uh, … yes and no," answered Bud. At her puzzled expression, he explained, "Well, there was one … last night, but it happened after midnight, … really at 0336, which is technically today. Even though it was really this morning, it's generally considered nighttime, so … it's sort of like the part of tonight that's already been. … And it did already happen, so … we did miss it."

Harriet looked at her husband in admiration. She placed her hands on the sides of his head and declared, "Bud Roberts, I love you." She gave him a sound kiss on his lips and let him go. Bud was left with a goofy grin on his face.

-------

TBC …

A/N: Next time, back to the two out on the porch. Sparks are likely to fly … of one kind or another. -- Teacup


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!! I'm glad I brought some laughter and some brightness with my last posts. The feedback gives me some much needed brightness too!

Sorry I didn't get this post up earlier today; ... I spent more time revising this part than I expected.

We left Harm and Mac out on the Admiral's porch. … During this calm before the storm, Harm is giving Mac a much coveted (I'm sure) massage. -- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 10**

"You remember the last time we were out here?" Harm asked, easing up on the massage he was giving Mac's neck and shoulders.

Opening her eyes, Mac answered, "Pretty hard to forget."

"You were pushing me hard for answers that night," Harm noted. "How come?"

Mac considered that maybe part of her had been looking for a last chance admission from Harm that would have made her change her mind about Mic, but she wasn't ready to admit to that.

"I was … looking for closure, I guess." That was true as well. She had probably wanted one or the other.

"Did you get it?" he asked.

"No." She had gotten more questions than answers that night. Mac suddenly saw the parallels to this night. Only Harm had been pushing her this time. Maybe _he_ was looking for closure now. Define their boundaries so they could move on.

Harm interrupted her thoughts, as he reflected, "It's a good thing no one caught us that night …"

She knew he was referring to the kiss. "Yeah."

"Can you imagine what would have happened?" he asked with some amusement.

"Mic probably would have hit you," Mac said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, he _would_ have taken it out on me," Harm stated lightly, but with a trace of leftover animosity. "Even though _you_ were the one cheating on him," he pointed out.

Offended, Mac immediately pulled away from Harm and turned to face him. "Cheating?? I didn't intend …"

"Well, you were the one who kissed me," he automatically fell into his old pattern of defending his statement.

"It was an innocent kiss. _You_ were the one who took it to the next level," she insisted.

"You didn't exactly resist me," he began to argue. But then seeing Mac's reaction, Harm came to his senses and regretted upsetting her again. He quickly backpedaled and ended the argument.

"I'm sorry, Mac. It _was_ my fault. What happened that night, … the way I kissed you, was … a mistake."

Mac's stomach lurched. He thought kissing her was a mistake? Okay, so on some level she knew that they shouldn't have kissed that night, but to hear him say it … seemed very much like … an ultimate rejection.

Harm saw the wounded look appear on her face, and he immediately knew she had taken that comment the wrong way.

"Yeah, … I'm a mistake," she muttered sorrowfully.

"Mac, …"

"No, Harm. You're right. … And, I should really get ready to go home." She turned toward the door, trying to get a handle on her feelings long enough to make a decent farewell to those inside.

Frustrated, Harm called after her with sharp accusation, "You're running again, Mac."

She stopped. Only Harmon Rabb could create in her a state of peaceful bliss, then painful despair, followed by vehement anger, … all within the space of two minutes. He had constantly been accusing her of things lately, and she didn't like it. Especially since he was right. That made it hurt all the more.

"But what are you running from?" he persisted. "Is it me? Is it us?" His tone was harsh and impatient.

"Oh, you're one to talk!" she exclaimed, finally turning things back on him. "Fine, Harm. You've been wanting to say something all night. Spit it out!"

There was fire in her eyes as she laid out the challenge. If Harm wanted to have it all out, then so be it. She might not want to hear what he had to say, but she'd be damned if she was going to let this be an attack on her … or some one-sided interrogation. He was the one with an agenda, so he was going to have to be the one to speak his mind … if he could.

Harm stared at her, surprised at her about-face and not quite sure how to proceed.

After fifteen seconds of silence, she declared, "I didn't think so." She was giving him a piercing stare. "… You can dish out accusations, Harm, but when it comes down to it, when it's your turn to step up to the plate, … you're a coward."

Mac had intended on going inside to give her regards to Francesca before leaving, but right now, she just needed to get out of there. She'd just have to deal with the consequences of being impolite later. She started down the porch stairs.

"Mac, wait!" Harm called.

She stopped on a step, but did not turn back to him. "Why?" she asked.

"You know why," he insisted.

She shook her head and glanced back at him over her shoulder. "No, Harm, I don't."

After another space of silence, she started down the driveway, which prompted Harm to call out again. "Mac, don't walk away from me. Please?" He was standing on the steps now.

She ceased her gait again and turned to look back at him, but stated, "I need to walk away right now, Harm. … Before we hurt each other any more."

"That's exactly why you shouldn't go, Mac. The only reason _I'm_ hurting tonight is because I've hurt you. I need you to let me set things straight."

"I'm fine, Harm. You don't need to feel guilty." She turned again to leave.

"It's not about guilt. It's … about love," he declared, not quite knowing where the words came from.

She froze at his use of the 'L' word.

"Sarah," he pleaded, "If you love me at all, … and … I think you do, … don't walk away from me."

She turned to face him with a look of utter disbelief. She didn't think he'd ever use the word 'love' in a sentence directly connecting the two of them. If it wasn't just him pegging her feelings for him, it would have been music to her ears.

But this …? Was that what all this was about the past few days? He had found out that she loved him and was now trying to confront her on it? Damn it! That's exactly why she didn't want him to find out. He was either going to try to let her down easy and embarrass the hell out of her while breaking her heart, or he was intent on giving her attention out of pity. She didn't want either!!

It was entirely overwhelming her, and right now, her brain and body couldn't handle the implications of this development or the myriad of emotions storming through her. So she coped by focusing on an issue that she _could_ handle and fell back on the familiar feeling of anger. How did he find out her secret?

The only one who knew, … the _only_ way Harm could have become so enlightened … was through … one Commander Sturgis Turner. She was going to kill that man!

Harm tried to read Mac's expression. He knew that he had continued to do the wrong thing all night, and his last outburst was no exception. He had been confrontational with Mac, accusing her of jealousy, and of running, and now, … of loving him.

But he hadn't opened up to her at all. He had put her entirely on the defensive, and he knew that if he didn't take Harriet's advice to be honest with Mac and expose his own delicate heart, this whole thing would be blown, … if he hadn't already ruined everything.

He watched as Mac's face changed from expressing shock, to vulnerability, and finally to fury.

That was the emotion she ran with. "Sturgis told you," she uttered. The rest followed in rapid crescendo. "I can't believe he broke my confidence! … I trusted him, and he lied to me. … I am going to kill him! I'm going to give him a piece of my mind, and then I'm going to teach him a lesson … Marine Corps style!"

Harm stood on the stairs in sheer confusion. Mac had every right to be mad at him for how he had pushed her tonight, but instead she was getting ready to kill Sturgis? What the hell had Sturgis done?

Harm sorted through what Mac had said: Sturgis broke her confidence by telling Harm something. Harm vaguely remembered a few days earlier when Turner was in his office hinting that he knew about how Mac felt. He had said something about being sworn to secrecy. And Mac just flipped out now that Harm had accused her of loving him.

It all fell into place. Mac had admitted to Sturgis that she was in love with her 'Flyboy.' Harm was at first filled with relief that he now had another piece of evidence that she did love him. But then he became saddened by the fact that she had not felt confident or comfortable enough to let him know.

She had told Sturgis but swore him to secrecy? Was she terrified of how Harm was going to react? How could she be? Didn't she know that he loved her more than life itself? Did she think he would reject her?

Images of Sydney suddenly came to his mind. Of course she would fear rejection. 'Stupid, Rabb. Stupid, stupid, stupid,' he chastised himself. She was as scared as he was. He had been afraid of admitting his feelings to her. Never willing to let on what he wanted with her unless he could get some sense of what she wanted first. And now he had that … sort of. But she didn't have the same from him. So, fearing heartbreak, she had every reason to want to avoid this.

Maybe she honestly didn't want to be with him, Harm conceded to himself. But if she thought she loved him, then that was a heck of a good start. He knew it was up to him to take the next risk, to open himself up.

Meanwhile, Mac continued her fuming and resolved to confront Sturgis there and then. CO's house or not, Turner was going to be put on notice of the wrath of this Marine. She determinedly strode back toward the house, ignoring Harm altogether.

Along the way she was muttering, "That untrustworthy, … lying, … big-mouthed, … _stinking, stupid **squid **_is **_so_ **dead!"

"Mac." Harm grabbed her arm gently as she passed him and followed her up the steps. "Sturgis didn't tell me anything …"

She halted, but she didn't believe that for a second. She knew Sturgis had talked to Harm, and now suddenly Harm knows her secret. It didn't take much to connect the dots.

Harm continued, "… except that I should open my eyes about how you feel about me, …"

Oh this is worse! 'I'm that obvious?' Mac thought. He figured it out on his own? She felt like a complete fool.

"… and open my mouth about how I feel about you," he finished.

That stopped Mac's wandering thoughts. She was paying full attention to this.

"If anyone is a stinking, stupid squid," said Harm, "… it's me. … For not having told you how I feel."

Mac stared up at him, anxiety in her eyes. One way or another it looked like Harm was going to admit something about what was going on inside of him when it came to her.

----

TBC …

A/N: I know it's a cliff hanger. Will post the next part tomorrow night.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Okay, here it is … Thank you for not rebuking me too much for how I left you. Hope you enjoy this chapter! -- Teacup

Without further ado …

**I See – Chapter 11**

"Mac, …" Harm struggled for a second, deciding how to proceed. "Do you remember … that night, … here on this porch, … you asked me what I wanted?"

She nodded hesitantly.

He continued, "I told you I wanted a lot of things. And then you asked me … what it was that I wanted most. Do you remember my answer?"

She barely found her voice. "Never to lose me," she managed to say. "… I … told you that you never would."

Harm nodded. "I meant what I said that night, … but … I'm afraid it also might have been a little misleading."

Mac didn't know what he meant and looked at him with confusion and, if possible, even more apprehension.

"I mean, I interpreted what I want 'most' in the sense of … well, …" He swallowed hard and started again. "Based on all the things that I want, … I picked the one that I felt I couldn't live without. The one I thought was at least … semi-attainable at the time."

He still had his hand holding onto her arm, but he now released her.

"I didn't tell you what I wanted 'most,' in the sense of … what I ideally want." He looked away from her as he continued. "What it is that I … dream of … when I'm not concerning myself with reality and consequences."

Looking back at her, he gently said, "I think it's time you know some more of what's at the top of my wish list."

Harm took Mac's hands in his and was surprised to find that she was shaking. He looked into her eyes with determination.

"Ask me again, Mac."

"What?"

"Ask me the question again."

Mac realized that he wanted her to repeat the words she had asked him that night, long ago. She complied. "… What do you want?"

He took a deep breath. "In addition to never losing you, … never losing the friendship that we have, … I want … to have you, … to … to be with you … always. … I want to spend every moment I can with you."

He was starting with the safe things, the friendship ones. He moved it up a notch. "I want to … be able to hold you close … and kiss you."

Despite Mac's paralyzed state, she found her body reacting inside when he said he wanted to kiss her. God, how she wanted that to be true!

Harm was determined to keep going. This was about so much more than just being attracted to her. She had to understand the bigger picture that encompassed all of his needs and desires.

"I want you to … to be the mother of my children … like we planned." He was still being cautious with his admissions. With that one he was merely affirming a deal made between them as friends. But he was hoping she would see now that it was more than that to him.

He had worked his confidence up now to let her know what he had in mind. "I … I want to go to sleep with you in my arms every night and wake up next to you each morning. I want you to … share a life … with me."

Mac's heart was racing and her mind was reeling. She almost cried from the emotions he was stirring in her. What he was saying was wonderful. But it seemed too good to be true.

Her number one question was: why? Why would he want all that with her? She was having a hard time believing Harm, because all of that, … what he had said, … that was her dream too. He actually … wanted her? She was about to ask him why he was saying these things when something in his eyes distracted her.

She stared into his blue-green, shining orbs, the window to what he held inside, and what she saw there was truth, … vulnerability, … and … something else. She knew then that he wasn't misleading her. And he wasn't just taking pity on her.

With him baring himself to her, she found herself letting go of her own insecurities. Her defensive walls came crumbling down, and, somehow, it allowed her to see him in a new light.

She searched his eyes again and realized that … he loved her. That was the answer to why he was saying those things, … why he wanted those things. He loved her, and he was talking about wanting to be with her! She smiled a little at the realization, and once again internally gave in to her own feelings toward this man. Despite the massive amounts of frustration he caused her, there was no way she could deny being in love with Harmon Rabb, Jr.

Harm was anxiously awaiting her response. She had looked almost doubtful of him at first, and he could tell she was searching his eyes, seeking confirmation that he had spoken the truth. But then she smiled, and gave him that look that made his insides melt.

"You're doing it again," he softly observed.

"Doing what?"

"Looking at me like that. … I catch you doing that every once in awhile. Usually when things are good between us. … When you look at me that way ... what do you see?"

Mac knew this was her opportunity to come clean. She knew that Harm had gone out on a limb, saying what he just had to her, and it was her turn to honestly open up.

"I see … the man who captured my heart a long time ago." She looked away for a moment before quietly taking the final plunge, clearly making the ultimate admission. "You're right, Harm, … I love you, … I … I'm in love with you."

Their eyes locked, and Harm's gaze reassured Mac. Her heart was still pounding out of control, but somehow her breathing was becoming just a bit easier.

Words couldn't describe what Harm felt at that instant. She really loved him. She said it. His heart was soaring! But, for the most part, he managed to keep his cool outward demeanor.

"Ask me what I want most," he insisted, with excitement in his eyes.

She followed his instructions automatically, her brain otherwise on overload with emotion. "What do you want most?"

He gently placed his hand on her cheek. "Those words you just said about how you feel about me, … I want you to honestly be able to say them to me … always, … and … I want you to understand … _exactly_ how I will _always_ feel about you."

He slowly bent over, and hovered above her lips for a moment. His eyes asked her for permission, and she answered with a hopeful gaze. He then closed his eyes and placed a simple, love-filled kiss on her lips, hoping to communicate to her what he was still having trouble saying.

He began to back away, but she would not let him go. Her head followed his, refusing to break their connection. She put her hands on each side of his head and pulled him back down to her. He did not resist prolonging the experience.

And what an experience it was! For the first time in either of their lives, they gave of and took from each other as only those in true love can. They had kissed before, but this time there was nothing stopping them. There were no doubts as to the other's feelings, and if there had been, this kiss would have erased them into oblivion.

Needing air, Harm did manage to finally pull away, whispering the words that were a continuation of his kiss. "I love you, Sarah."

Her eyes glistened. She took a moment and then confirmed, albeit with some surprise, that she believed him. "You really do," she half-whispered.

Harm nodded his head slightly in agreement. "And you really love me," he added with almost as much surprise.

Mac simply smiled up at him.

Harm had his arms loosely around Mac's waist, and she rested her hands on his shoulders. He smiled tenderly, while breathing hard. "So where does that leave us?" he asked.

Remembering a past conversation, Mac declared a little mischievously, "At the end, I think."

"What?" Confusion shot through Harm. After all that, what was she saying? He couldn't believe it was anything bad. That kiss certainly didn't speak of the end of anything between them.

"The end," she repeated. "The end of hiding our feelings. The end of miscommunications between us. And, … I'm really hoping, … the end of a _purely_ platonic friendship."

"Oh." He smiled with relief and joy. "… I have no objections to that … as long as it's also the beginning …"

"Of what?" she asked with anticipation.

"Of a new level of our relationship … One that's anything but purely platonic."

Harm leaned down and kissed Mac again. This time with no intention of letting up anytime soon. She responded with equal fervor, putting one hand at the base of his neck and the other on the back of his head, as she let him pull her body flush against him.

-------

TBC …

A/N: So, what did you think?

By the way, due to a time constraint on earlier postings, I ended up breaking this story into one more part than I had planned, so there are actually two chapters left.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I'm glad the previous chapter went over so well. It might have been too sappy, but, well, sometimes sap is good. I hope no one was speeding home (e.g., Dana) to get to this part, since I'm posting later than I had hoped. The good news is that both of the last two chapter are longer than any of the previous ones. And I think they're more fun too. -- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 12**

As it was getting late, it was time for some guests to think about leaving for the evening. Gunny's date, Gina, had to get an early start the next morning for a community service project she had volunteered for, so Gunny kindly offered to take her home.

As he was helping Gina with her jacket, Harriet noticed that the couple was getting ready to depart. She hoped that Harm and Mac had had enough time alone outside to work some things out, because she knew she couldn't prevent people from going out on the porch anymore. Nonetheless, she headed in the direction of the exit.

Gunny opened the door, holding it wide and motioning for Gina to go ahead of him. He followed her through the doorframe, and, pulling the door shut, he turned back to make sure he closed it completely. When he took a step forward he ran smack into his date, who had stopped dead in her tracks.

"Whoa," he called, steadying himself.

As he looked up to see what had caused Gina to freeze in place, his eyes met the image of two senior officers who were embracing and had apparently, at the sound of his voice, just broken apart from a heated kiss.

The three service members looked at each other, all caught by surprise. Two of those officers were, of course, also a bit dazed and embarrassed. But Gunny also noticed that he had never seen either one looking so incredibly fulfilled. There was a type of happiness in their eyes that had never existed before.

It was Gina who broke the silence, addressing Harm. "Well, you sure didn't waste any time going after that desirable woman," she remarked with humor.

Harm laughed nervously, but then said, "That's actually very far from the truth." Looking down at Mac, who was still loosely in his arms, he apologetically added, "I wasted almost six years."

Mac was about to reply, telling him that he wasn't the only one at fault, when Gina added, "Well, I see now why you were so preoccupied earlier, Harm. I'm glad you're finally enjoying the party … even if it's out here."

Harm looked up to see Gina wink at him before she walked down the stairs. The two lawyers were left facing their Marine coworker, who was still recovering from surprise.

"Uh, … Gunny, …" Mac started with a slightly worried expression. Knowing they had to deal with being caught, she glanced briefly at Harm, before looking back to Victor.

Gunny sensed that Mac was wanting to ask for his discretion, and he decided to spare her any further anxiety. He stood straight and tall. "Semper fi, ma'am."

Mac understood from the look in his eyes that Gunny was promising not to abuse the knowledge of what he had seen. She straightened her own posture, though without letting go of Harm, and, with a gentle smile, proudly replied in acknowledgment, "Semper fi, Gunny."

Victor smiled and nodded before walking down the steps to join his date. Once he reached her though, he paused and looked back. "Commander," he called.

"Yeah, Gunny," answered Harm.

"Just so you know, … if you hurt her in any way, you _will_ have the Marine Corps to answer to."

Harm smiled. "Duly noted, Gunny. Thank you."

Meanwhile, Mac tried to keep from laughing.

They watched Victor and Gina leave before returning to each other's gazes.

"I guess we shouldn't really stand right in front of the door, huh?" Harm asked.

"Probably not," answered Mac.

Harm led her by the hand over to the bench off to the side of the doorway. He sat down, and, instead of letting her take a seat next to him, he pulled her sideways onto his lap. His arms enveloped her waist and hers encircled his shoulders.

"That's better," he said.

"I agree." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss.

A satisfied, "mmm," was his only reply. They were both wearing ridiculously large smiles and couldn't seem to look at anything but each other's eyes.

Harm suddenly got a bit serious. "You know, we still need to talk about how this is going to affect things, … you know, like work."

Sighing, Mac rested her forehead against his. "I know."

He continued, "I mean, eventually one of us is going to have to transfer if you're willing to marry me, and that's not going to be an easy career decision. We'll have to consider -"

Mac lifted her head. "Wait a minute," she interrupted him. "Back up there, sailor." Her eyebrows rose high. "Did you just give me a marriage proposal?"

He hadn't really meant to. Harm looked at her sparkling brown eyes. He didn't want her to misunderstand. When he proposed, he was going to want to make it special. He was going to have a ring with him to put on her finger.

"Not yet," he automatically responded. Upon hearing the words leave his mouth, he immediately remembered using them once before with disastrous consequences. Damn, he hadn't meant to say that again.

"But, … I will," he quickly supplemented. After a pause he added, "… And you won't have to wait an eternity. … I promise."

"… And you always keep your promises," Mac reflected with admiration. Hearing Harm talk about marriage was almost too much for her to believe. The fact that he was even _thinking_ about a commitment to her made her heart ascend to a new height. But a promise from him, … that was golden.

"Always," he reassured her.

"That's good enough for me," she declared happily. "I'll wait for it … as long as it takes." Now she was assuring him. She had learned her lesson too.

For a moment, they simply gazed at each other adoringly and affectionately, until neither could resist the urge for more, and they met in a long kiss filled with love and promise. When their lips separated, Mac hugged Harm, tucking her head down on his shoulder. Harm rested his head on hers and ran his hand over her back.

"Is this really happening?" Mac asked. "It seems … so unreal, … so wonderful, … like it's too good to be true."

He kissed the crown of her head. "It is real. What we have between us." Sobering a little, he reminded her, "But I am a little concerned with how we're going to handle work."

Mac lifted her head and saw the worry that plagued him. She knew that the work issue was one of the things that had held him back for such a long time. She made a decision right then.

"Harm." She cupped his face in her hands. "Do you trust me?"

For a moment, he was taken aback by the direct question. Then he remembered what he said earlier that evening about trusting her. "Implicitly," he finally responded.

She was glad to hear it. "Then trust me in this. Trust _us_. We'll work it out … together."

Mac could tell Harm was still anxious, so she went on. "Harm, we'll see what happens, what kind of options we have. But let me tell you this, … I'll transfer, … I'll resign if I have to, because I believe this is worth it."

Being there in Harm's embrace felt so right to Mac. She felt a belonging that she had never known before, and she knew, without a doubt, that this was the real deal. They had an extraordinary love, despite how difficult it had been for them to admit it. But now that they had, she started to have a great sense of faith in their future.

The type of true faith that had been squashed in her early childhood was suddenly blossoming in her.

This was an opportunity to create the family that she had always longed for with the one person she longed to have it with. When she was engaged to Mic, she never got past the question of what to do about her career, because she was so conflicted about everything. But with Harm, now that she knew what he wanted with her, there was no question where her priorities were.

"I can't ask you to sacrifice your career, Mac," Harm protested.

"Who said anything about sacrificing? We'll see what happens," she repeated. "You can't control everything yourself, Harm. We need to be open to possibilities."

Harm averted his eyes, but nodded in acknowledgement.

Mac put a finger on his chin, requesting that he look back at her. When he did, she added in a positive tone, "… But, considering I might just be occupied with having our children, we probably shouldn't do anything to jeopardize your career." Then she teased, "… At least any more than you already have."

He gave her a glare for that last part, but was entirely unable to keep a straight face.

Then he sincerely pointed out, "We still have two years left on our baby deal." Harm was implying that they had time before their plan for a child, so she might not want to factor children into her immediate career decisions.

Very seriously, Mac told him, "Harm, that deal is null and void."

He looked at her with uncertainty. Sure, at her engagement party she had said that she thought their deal was probably over … because she was planning on marrying another man. But since that, thank God, failed to happen, Harm didn't understand what would have broken their agreement.

Mac realized she needed to make this sometimes clueless man of hers understand. … And he was hers now, wasn't he? That thought alone made her quiver with delight, but she managed to go on with the matter at hand.

"The conditions of that deal were that if neither of us is in a relationship at that time, we'd go halves on a baby. I don't know about you, but I very much plan on being in a relationship two years from now."

She didn't think it was possible, but Harm actually took on an even more bewildered expression, now mixed with concern and hurt.

He could not understand how, after Mac and he had just talked about sharing their future together, she could be planning on being in a relationship with someone else two years from now. It was impossible.

Mac rolled her eyes, thinking that Harm must be suffering from oxygen deprivation or something from their earlier kissing, because he should have been able to follow her logic.

She quickly clarified, "With _you_, Harm, … I'm planning on being in a very serious relationship with _you_ two years from now, … maybe married even, maybe with a child we'll already be raising, or … one on the way." Suddenly it occurred to her that he might want to stick to the original timeline despite their change in relationship. Her smile lessened. "… Unless you want to wait?" she asked.

"Oh," he breathed with relief as his mind finished processing the fact that Mac was really planning on setting up a life with him. Finally addressing her last question, Harm added, "No, … we don't have to wait that long. … I just …" He didn't even know what he was trying to say, so he gave up. "… You're right. That deal is void since we'll be together then."

He smiled brightly at her, seeing how she returned with a grin of her own. He could have kicked himself for not recognizing that Mac had been referring to the two of them being in a relationship with each other in two years. He realized that he should never again have even a passing doubt with her.

Now that they had admitted their feelings and desires, things were so much clearer. He could honestly envision everything working out for them … together. Mac may never fly in the back of a Tomcat with him again, but he was finally ready to have her copilot with him … in life.

"So counselor, is there anything else that is worrying you?" Mac asked.

He shook his head. "No, I can't think of anything more right now, … except how much I love you and how happy I am that we managed to …" He paused to search for the right words.

"I know," Mac didn't need for him to say it. "And I'm still scared I'm going to wake up and find that this was all a dream."

"If it is a dream, I don't want to wake up," he said, smiling. Appreciating the look in her eyes again, he thought aloud, "I can't believe how long it took me to see that you love me."

"How _did_ you figure that out?" she asked.

"I'm obsessed with finding the truth, remember?" He was widely grinning at her. "_Sometimes_, I can even find it when it's staring me in the face," he said glibly, referring to her comment the other day about the Jacobs case … as well as what was _literally_ staring him in the face at the moment.

"What I don't understand," he sincerely pondered, "is how you didn't know how I feel about you. I mean, you're much more attuned to these kinds of things than I am."

Mac looked away. "I thought I did know once," she replied with a trace of sorrow. "And I was wrong then."

That damned ferry ride was truly haunting him. "Mac, you weren't wrong. I just wasn't ready."

"And you're ready now?" Despite her new-found faith in them, it didn't hurt to be comforted with his assurance.

"Yes."

Returning to her explanation for not knowing about his feelings for her, she stated, "You're not exactly easy to read … emotionally. I mean, you're driven by emotions, but when it comes to expressing yourself …"

He nodded in understanding. "I prefer to let my actions speak for me. But without knowing my intent, I guess my actions can be confusing."

"Yeah, … I guess I'm going to have to learn to interpret your actions better." She smiled at him slightly.

He grinned impishly. "I know the perfect way to start."

Mac arched her eyebrows in question.

Harm pulled her closer to him and began trailing soft kisses along her neck and up the side of her face. It took but a moment for Mac to turn to meet his lips with hers, being entirely receptive to this type of action from him … and more than willing to use some actions of her own to express her feelings to him.

--------

TBC …

A/N: The next and last chapter, which could easily be split into two, is pretty fun (in my opinion). Some of you will be happy to know (like berarch, perhaps) that H&M do 'get caught' by more than just Gunny in the next chapter. :0)

Thanks so much for leaving comments!!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I have to apologize for not posting last night; I was too tired. I tried posting part of the last part this morning, but was having technical difficulties. (And I didn't have the time then to post the whole conclusion anyway -- I really do take time to format/revise before each post). Anyhow, since I already split the remainder of the story, I decided to go ahead and post part now so that you have something for the time being. Hope you enjoy it!

-- Teacup

**I See – Chapter 13**

"Tiner, I thought you were going to locate Commander Rabb," stated the Admiral.

"Yes, sir. I did, but was informed that he was busy discussing an important case with Colonel MacKenzie."

A.J. paused, trying to figure out what aspect of work the two officers would consider so important that they would be worrying about it this evening. He didn't recall any pressing cases that they were opposing each other on at the moment.

And Singer had informed him earlier that the Jacobs case, which Rabb and MacKenzie were co-defending, was not going to court. The Lieutenant had been more than slightly upset that she had agreed to the plea bargain when she later found out about the new evidence.

"Where are they?" the Admiral asked Tiner. "I don't believe I've even seen the Colonel this evening."

"I believe they are still out on the porch, sir."

"The porch?"

"Yes, sir. Probably went out there to talk privately about the case."

"Hmmph," was the Admiral's reply. He wanted to know if there was some urgent work crisis that he should be aware of. He considered sending Tiner to fetch the two lawyers, but, in the interest of confidentiality and wanting a quiet place to speak, he decided that it would be better to go outside himself and speak to them there.

As the Admiral was about to head toward the door, Tiner added brightly, "… Maybe they were lucky enough to see the meteor shower while they were out there. I'm afraid we missed it already, sir."

The Admiral gave his yeoman a funny look at that comment, but didn't address it.

When A.J. reached the front of his house, he saw Carolyn Imes just shutting the door.

"Oh, excuse me, sir," she said. "I was just peeking out to see how those clouds are looking. I heard there were showers in the forecast, but it doesn't look like anything has started yet."

"Meteor showers?" asked the Admiral.

"No, sir." Carolyn tried her best to hide her baffled reaction. "… Rain."

"Oh. Right." Trying to forget the meteor showers, he moved on, "… Did you happen to see Commander Rabb and Colonel MacKenzie out there?"

"No, sir," answered Imes. "But I only took a quick look at the sky."

Harriet, who was just walking by, heard the last question, and offered, "It's possible they left already, sir." She couldn't entirely keep the smile from her face.

Earlier, when Gunny was leaving, Harriet had managed to peek out before he shut the door. Even though Gunny's date had been standing in the way, Harriet managed to see enough beyond the woman to catch a glimpse of two figures locked together with passion.

Harriet had then felt very satisfied that Harm and Mac had made some excellent progress, and felt the whole ordeal with Tiner was well worth the efforts from her, Bud, and Sturgis. From what Harriet had seen, it would not surprise her at all if the two lawyers had decided they needed to urgently find somewhere else to be.

The Admiral frowned. It wasn't like Mac to leave without even acknowledging him. "I'll go out and see if their cars are still here," he decided.

--------

Admiral Chegwidden stepped out onto his porch and was about to head down the stairs when he heard a small and distinctly feminine sound of pleasure from off to the side, behind him. He turned, and what he saw completely stunned him.

His two senior attorneys were involved in actions that lacked any resemblance to professional behavior.

Mac was sitting on Harm's lap, though her one leg was stretched out to the ground, allowing her to pivot much of her body to face Harm without falling. She had one hand running through Harm's hair and her other rubbing up and down his back. Harm's one hand could be found on Mac's rear end, perhaps in part to keep her from falling off of him.

The Admiral couldn't see where Harm's other hand was, and frankly, he didn't even think about it because he couldn't get over the fact that these two seasoned officers were madly kissing each other like a couple of hormonal teenagers!

"What the …?" In complete shock, the beginning of the question escaped him relatively quietly.

Seeing that his presence had not yet been enough to capture the attention of these two, he roared, "**Commander Rabb! Colonel MacKenzie! What the HELL do you think you're doing?**"

Their Commanding Officer's bellow quickly brought the two back to reality and they each snapped up to their feet, straightening out their clothes, and came to attention. Uniforms or not, they knew they were about to be chewed out.

They were both breathing hard and looked as guilty as sin. They somehow appeared simultaneously devastated at being caught and overjoyed from what they had been doing.

"Never mind," A.J. dismissed them from answering the question as to what they thought they were doing. "… You _**obviously**_ aren't thinking, … and _**I saw**_what you were doing," he declared with disapproval.

Harm started, "Sir, I apologize for our indiscretion, …"

"You'd better," the Admiral said with a harsh tone, "because you are highly decorated officers who are expected to handle yourselves with a certain amount of decorum."

"Yes, sir, and to that extent we are sorry," said Harm. "But otherwise, … we're not on duty or in uniform. … And what we were doing, … it's not against regulations."

"No. No, it's not," A.J. agreed. "… But do you have to do it on my front porch?" he demanded.

"Apparently so, sir," Harm said, desperately trying to keep from laughing.

A.J. walked close to him in an intimidating manner. "Something funny, Commander?"

"No sir. … It's just … we have something of a track record out here."

At that, Mac stifled a sound, something in between an amused laugh and gasp of shock that Harm would have said that.

The Admiral looked between them, narrowing his eyes. He immediately remembered how much time the two had spent outside during Mac's engagement party, and he did not even want to fathom what the Commander's comment meant. He approached Mac closely now, seeming to tower over her. "I don't want to know about it, do I, Colonel?"

"No, sir," she quickly answered.

The Admiral suddenly became aware that having Mac stand at attention in that dress, brought a heck of a lot of _his attention_ to her upper female features. He caught himself glancing down, but quickly backed off and looked away. "For god sake, at ease!"

To cover his own feeling of awkwardness, A.J. went on the offensive. "… I'd say 'as you were,' but I recommend you two get a room for that!"

The Admiral stepped away, took in a deep breath and let it out, trying to calm himself regarding this new situation. "How long has this been going on?" he asked.

Mac took a few seconds to re-register her internal clock and made her best guess from the last moment she actually had any sense of the time. "I'd say about 26 minutes, sir."

A.J. looked at her with disbelief. "Colonel, I was referring to how long you and the Commander have had a change in the nature of your relationship, … not how long you were … on his lap."

"As was I, sir," Mac assured him. Her gaze went down to the floor boards for a moment after she answered, and she knew she was blushing. She really couldn't understand how she could feel so absolutely mortified and ecstatic at the same time. She grinned at the Admiral's comment despite herself and knew that Harm was doing likewise.

A.J. cocked one of his eyebrows. This was apparently a very recent development. Maybe this was something that just unintentionally happened and they hadn't even discussed it yet. He had to ask.

"Have you … determined then, if this is … a relationship you intend to pursue?"

Harm spoke up now. "Oh, yes, sir," he said confidently, taking Mac's hand in his. "We're definitely in a new type of relationship. … As a couple."

Mac looked up at him, smiling, and squeezed his hand. Harm smiled too as he glanced back at Mac.

"I see." And A.J did.

He crossed his arms and began to pace. The Commanding Officer said nothing for a long moment. Then finally he stopped pacing and turned to them. "Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't suspect this was coming sooner or later."

Harm and Mac exchanged surprised glances, which A.J. ignored.

His tone was now gentle. "Speaking personally, … I wish you two every success." He smiled a little and chuckled. "God knows, you two deserve each other."

"Yes, sir," answered Harm. A.J. noted the silly grins that Harm and Mac shared again. Oh, they were lovesick. No question about it.

"Professionally, however, … I don't think I need to tell you that this complicates things."

"We expect it does, sir." This came from Mac. "But, -"

"- But, we're ready to take that risk," finished Harm. It was him who squeezed Mac's hand this time.

Mac didn't miss the significance of him making that statement to their C.O. Harm was declaring his willingness to give up as much control as necessary in the other areas of his life in order to make things work for the two of them to be together.

The Admiral looked at Harm and Mac again, appreciating the devotion he saw between them. "Well, for the time-being, I just ask that you keep it out of the office. … Meaning no lovers' spats affecting your work, and _**absolutely**__no_displays along the lines of what I saw this evening."

"Aye, aye, sir," they responded in unison.

The Admiral started to head back to the door, but stopped short of opening it. He looked back at them, saying, "And I want you to set up a meeting with me as soon as possible after you even _start_ to seriously _think_ about marriage." Almost to himself, he muttered, "… I'm gonna need as much warning as possible to work that one out."

A.J. was not looking forward to that. Not that he didn't want his people to be happy, but he didn't want to lose either of his talented senior attorneys.

"Yes, sir," answered Harm. "We'll set something up first thing Monday."

Mac gave Harm a look of surprise, but that was nothing compared to A.J.'s reaction. Though the Admiral did not say anything at first, his face clearly indicated that he was not expecting anything quite so soon. He grabbed his forehead with his right hand and finally said, "Heaven help me."

------

TBC …

A/N: The conclusion (very last part, I promise) to follow! You still enjoying this?


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you all so much for the great feedback!! … I do believe this particular story comes to a natural end at this chapter. So, here is the conclusion. I hope you enjoy it!

-- Teacup (of JAG)

**I See – Chapter 14**

"Monday?" Mac repeated when the Admiral went inside.

Harm shrugged. "Well, he said he wanted to know as soon as possible. And we've already mentioned marriage, so I think it's safe to say we are at least starting to seriously think about it."

For a few seconds Mac simply relished what she heard Harm say. Then, remembering what they had just been through with the Admiral, she sighed. "Not even a half an hour into this relationship, and we're already busted," she lamented.

At that, Harm started laughing.

Mac looked at him like he was insane.

"Well, _you're_ busted," Harm declared.

Somewhat indignant and somewhat confused, Mac pointed out, "I think this incident very much involved both of us." She had no idea what he was finding so amusing.

"I know," he agreed. "But _you_ are very well 'busted,' and I think, … in that dress, you made the Admiral a little uncomfortable." Of course, the jealous part of Harm had also found the Admiral's momentary attention to Mac discomforting, but his pang of displeasure was quickly overtaken by humor.

Mac glared at Harm incredulously. "We've just been chewed out by our C.O. for making out on his front porch, and you're making jokes about my chest?"

She wanted to be offended, really she did. But no matter what her mind said, the fact that Harm was paying any attention to her figure made her feel … really good.

Harm suddenly became serious. "No, … there is nothing funny about the way you look tonight, Sarah. … You're beautiful."

There was no way she could even pretend to be mad at him now.

"Have I mentioned that you're looking quite handsome yourself tonight?" Mac took a step to Harm and started tracing a line down the edge of his suit jacket opening.

"No," he answered. Looking down at her touch caused Harm's own eyes to catch sight of and fall victim to Mac's endowment. He found himself captivated by the rounded lines in front of him that her dress was only accentuating.

She called him on it. "So, does my chest make _you_ uncomfortable?"

He laughed again, but this time nervously. "It makes me something," he admitted, looking away.

Mac smiled. Oh, she was going to have some fun developing this relationship. "Have you always been this shy with women?"

He looked back at her. "Only with you."

She paused for a moment with a sense of déjà vu. "Well, maybe I should be flattered, but … I'm going to have to break you of that habit."

"Is that an offer?"

"Is that a request?" she countered.

Harm was well aware of the reuse of things once said on a ferry. "Are we going to replay that conversation?"

"Only if the outcome is different."

"I'm never going to make you think I'm pushing you away like that again, Mac."

"Good. 'Cause I'm not planning on letting you push me away anymore."

She pulled on Harm's tie, bringing his head down to her. They met again in a kiss, but before they finished, they heard the owner of a deep voice clearing his throat. They broke apart and looked up to see Sturgis. It seemed to never fail tonight. … They start kissing, and someone would walk out to discover them.

"I'm on my way out," said Commander Turner. "Just wanted to say bye. And … it looks like you two have worked some things out."

"Yeah. Yeah, we have." Harm put his arm around Mac, and she snuggled up to him with a hand on his chest. "Thanks Sturgis, for … everything," Harm said.

"Sure."

"Sturgis," Mac called. "You owe Harm your thanks too."

"Oh? For what?"

"For saving your life tonight," she stated.

"I see," Sturgis remarked.

Harm laughed. "Yeah, buddy, you don't know how close you came to facing a very angry Marine. And I've got to tell you, the way she was marching in after you, … you didn't stand a chance."

"Oh, that's not fair," complained Sturgis. "_You_ made her mad, and she was going to come after me?"

Mac spoke up. "Well, lucky for you, Harm came to your defense. … He insisted that you didn't break my confidence. And then he … distracted me."

"And now I'm guessing he knows?" Sturgis checked for confirmation.

"Yeah, I hope he does." She looked up at the man in her arms.

"He does," Harm verified. "And she knows that I feel the same."

Mac nodded and then looked back at the submariner. "Anyway, thanks Sturgis … for not spilling my secret. And for whatever you did to help Harm come to his senses."

"Hey, don't thank me. I was just trying to ensure a safe and somewhat peaceful work environment. My motives were entirely selfish." With that, Commander Turner headed down the steps.

"Night Sturgis," Harm and Mac called simultaneously.

Smiling with amusement at how the new couple was so in synch, Turner replied, "Good night." Then he disappeared down the driveway.

"I guess I should be glad Sturgis talked to you, huh?" Mac admitted.

"Yeah." Remembering some other help he had, Harm added, "Oh, we should probably thank Bud and Harriet too."

"Bud and Harriet know too?" Mac was surprised. "How were they involved?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Is there anyone at work who doesn't know about us?" she asked rhetorically. "… Jeez, I'm going to have to transfer out of JAG Headquarters sooner than I'd planned just to avoid the embarrassment."

"Hey, loving me is embarrassing?" he asked with mock offense.

She grinned. "No, I guess not. Not when you love me too." Deciding that it really was getting late, and she was tired, Mac shifted the conversation. "… I should really get going. I need to give my regards to Francesca, and then I think I'll call it an evening."

She started to pull away from Harm, but he would not release her.

"Hey Mac, … come back to my apartment tonight?"

She gave him an unsure look.

"Nothing has to happen," he quickly assured her. "It's just, … I'm not quite ready to let you go," he admitted.

Mac gave him a gentle smile. "Harmon Rabb, if there is one thing I hope you never _can_ 'let go' of, … it's me."

"Is that a yes?" he asked with hope.

"I don't know," Mac said playfully. "Won't your new neighbor be jealous that you're bringing another woman home with you?"

"Mac, my new neighbor is a fifty-some year old grandmother who can't drive anymore due to some problems with her eyes. Her husband spends most of his time at work and doesn't like to take her out anywhere when he does come home."

"Oh." Mac was slightly embarrassed that she had never even had a real reason to be jealous. It seemed so silly and almost humorous now. She suddenly resolved, "… We should take the poor woman shopping."

"You think?" Harm asked sarcastically, with a little laugh. "Well, we could offer to take her tomorrow."

"No, we're busy tomorrow," Mac declared.

"We are?" he asked, surprised by her authoritative decision. "What are we doing?"

"I'm not sure yet," she answered, "but whatever it is, it's just going to involve you and me."

Harm could see that her beautiful brown eyes were dark with desire. "Oh yeah?" he asked.

She nodded. "Unless you already have other plans."

"No. And if I did, I'd cancel them." That was a no-brainer.

"Good."

"I love you."

"Love you too," she replied.

-------

"Where is that damn headache medicine?" A.J. was rifling through the medicine cabinet.

Francesca appeared behind him, having followed her father to check on him. "Papa, what is troubling you?"

"Oh, here they are." He dumped the pills out onto his hand and swallowed them down with water.

"Papa? You are upset."

"Not upset. Just … frustrated."

"About what?"

"The fact that I should be extremely happy for two very stubborn, but important people in my life, who have finally realized what they probably should have figured out a long time ago, … but instead, it's giving me a headache."

"What is wrong?"

"What's wrong is that I'm very likely going to lose one of my best litigators, … this time for good." A.J. walked back out to the main room.

"Commander Rabb?" guessed Francesca, trailing behind her father.

A.J. nodded. "Or Colonel MacKenzie."

"I do not understand. You expect one of them to be transferred? Or to quit?"

"If they're headed where I think they are, one of them will have to."

She still did not comprehend what her father was saying to her.

"Regulations," he answered.

His daughter furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

With a vague gesture, A.J. pointed her attention in the direction of the front of the house.

Francesca walked over and peeked out one of the windows looking out onto the porch. She saw two familiar officers holding each other and ardently kissing.

Being able to guess now what kind of regulations her father spoke of, she smiled and simply declared, "… I see."

-----

**The End!**

A/N: Thanks for hanging with me on this story. And thanks again to those who have left me feedback. It makes me happy! I've had fun revising and posting the story on this site. What do you think of this final chapter? I hope it at least made you smile!!


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